Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Don't Get Stuck in the Dark

DEALING WITH LOSS- Sometimes in life relationships will end, your health may decline, and people will pass on. We all have to deal with loss and grief eventually. It is important to allow your emotions to flow, to allow yourself to feel any way that you feel, without judging or suppressing your emotions. Let the emotions flow, then let them go. The sadness will eventually pass if you process the emotions.

Part of being happy and enjoying life is learning to move through the dark times without getting stuck.  Some people have a tendency to cling to the loss much longer than is healthy.  There may be thoughts of what ifs, should have beens, or even blame.  All of these thoughts are unhealthy and will not help you move out of the darkness.  There are others that cling to grief like a victim clinging to the knife that stabs them.  They think that by letting go of the emotional pain, they are dishonoring the relationship- as if by not feeling sad they are expressing to the world that the relationship wasn't that strong.  These type of thoughts can keep them in the darkness for the rest of their life.  There is no dishonor in moving past grief and being happy again.  When we cling to grief, we dishonor our own life and our own spirit.  

I realized this after my 11 yr old daughter, Nicole died in 2000.  There were times when my victim mentality would creep into my mind and tell me lies about how I should never be happy again.  I came to the decision that the best way to honor her memory was to move forward and make the best of my life. It is then that instead of destroying my life, her death became a catalyst for personal 
Many blessing to those of you going through the darkness at this time.  Please know that you can move through even the darkest time in your life- if you allow it.  


Laura Barrette Shannon

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