Do You Always Have to Be Right?

“Confidence is not being afraid to share your opinions; Wisdom is not being attached to them.”

~ LB Shannon

It is easy to get caught up in sharing your point of view with others. It’s a natural mode of communication. I share what I think about a subject and you share your thoughts about the subject. This type of communication goes on all day long. While it can be quite pleasant to talk to someone who shares your view, it can be frustrating to talk to someone with an opposing view.

More often than not, unhappy people will hold on to their opinions to the point of arguing. They would rather be right than let it go. They have convinced themselves that if they can’t get others to agree with them, they feel that their point of view is being threatened.

Agreement from other people is not necessary. Believe what you like, and let others do the same. Overly opinionated people haven’t learned that when others have an opinion that may be different from theirs, it is the other person’s right. They also haven’t learned that it is perfectly normal for other people to have varying opinions about many aspects of life. This type of closed-minded approach to communication can result in pompous thoughts of being smarter than the other person: “Obviously they are wrong and are too stupid to see it.” These thoughts of judgment, the aggravation, the bitterness that can arise from these confrontations is all because they had to show everyone that they were right. It was more important to be right than to be happy.

So how can we interact with others who have conflicting points of view from our own without conflict arising? It starts with being flexible with our own beliefs. Listen to their opinions. Ask questions like “Why do you think that is?” or “Where did you learn that?” The second key to interacting with opposing viewpoints is to understand that it is not always necessary to share your opposing thoughts. It isn’t your job to teach everyone around you to see things like you do. It’s okay to allow them to think differently than you do.

The most noticeable instances in my life concerning differing opinions are always politics. I’ve reached a point where I no longer put my two cents in these conversations. People are entitled to see the world from varying points of view, as each of us is unique in our perspective and life experiences. By not attempting to invalidate other’s opinions, I maintain peace of mind among some very opinionated people. Sometimes I even listen and ask questions so that I can begin to understand why they see the world the way they do.

Example #1:

Joe: “I think the moon is a spaceship for Martians.”

Mark: “That’s an interesting point of view! What makes you think that?”

Joe: “My grandfather told me when I was young.”

Mark: “Your grandfather sounds like an interesting guy. What else did he teach you?”

In this example, Joe shared an unpopular point of view about the moon. Instead of attempting to dispel Joe’s belief, or belittle him for his belief, Mark chose not to challenge the point of view that the moon is a spaceship. Mark asked for more information about Joe’s belief, which showed interest and also revealed the root of Joe’s odd belief. When Mark heard that Joe’s grandfather told him that the moon was a spaceship, he steered the conversation toward the grandfather. This technique of redirecting conversations is a useful tool for avoiding heated discussions when you come across a potential conflict of opinion.

Example #2:

Jane: “I can’t believe you are still married to John after he cheated on you again!”

Mary: “It’s understandable why you would feel that way. So how’s the new job going?”

In this example, Jane shared her unsolicited opinion about Mary’s marriage. Mary, in an attempt to avoid the subject, validated Jane’s right to her opinion but neither agreed nor disagreed. Instead, she changed the subject. Mary knew that it wasn’t necessary for her to defend her personal choices. She let Jane’s comment go, not choosing to start a debate on the subject of marriage and infidelity.

It’s not necessary to validate your actions and viewpoints to others. Be confident in your life choices and beliefs, but be willing to hear different points of view.

Lesson :

It is unnecessary to defend your point of view. Allow others the right to have their own opinions.

Exercises:

Ponder these questions. Be honest with yourself.

• Do you take yourself so serious that when you meet people with a difference of opinion you feel the need to set them straight?
• Do you feel irritated or even threatened by listening to opposing points of view?
• Is it your job to teach everyone to think like you do?  

The next time someone shares an opinion or suggests an idea that is different from your own, see if you can resist the urge to share your point of view or push your own agenda. This exercise can be as simple as not being a backseat driver when someone else is driving or as challenging as listening to someone with a completely different political viewpoint.

Be aware of how it feels to rein in your ego. The uneasiness you feel is your ego fighting for control. As you practice ego awareness, it will become easier to recognize the ego’s controlling manipulations and easier to ignore it. When you can come to a point of humility, not always having to prove your opinions and allowing others to have alternate views, it brings more peace to relationships and to your own mind.

Practice being an observer or a listener without getting into debates. Make an effort to hold your tongue without putting in your two-cents point of view, even if you think they are totally wrong. This is a valuable skill that will provide much less drama in your life.

You Are the Narrator of Your Life

“Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.” ~ Kahlil Gibran

Your story is what you tell yourself and others about your life. We do this all the time when we meet new people. The longer we know them, the more we fill in our life story with whole chapters and characters we have met. The key is to know that you are telling the story, so you have the power to change the viewpoint of the narration.

You are the narrator of your life. Begin watching how you talk about yourself. Your every word defines who you want the world to see and reinforces how you think of yourself. If you keep the narration focused on unlimited potential for the future, lessons from past adversity, appreciation for the people who come and go, and gratitude for life itself, you will not only enjoy life more, you will be a joy to be around. Be a light in your own life, be your own best cheerleader, and watch your life be transformed.

Is your story one of being a victim of circumstance, or is it one of triumph through adversity? Recognize that either version of the story is just a different perspective of the same past events. For example, I could tell my story from a negative point of view …

I became physically and mentally disabled in my late twenties and early thirties. I went through an emotionally crushing divorce in that same time period. My condition eventually required brain surgery when I was thirty-three. One month before the brain surgery, my eleven-year-old daughter was tragically killed in an accident because some jerk cut them off on the highway. My life has been destroyed by things out of my control. How can I ever be happy? I have to deal with disabling health issues every day, which further makes my life sad and depressing. Life sucks!

This is a Woe is me! type story of victimization.

Or I can tell my story with positive passion …

Many years ago, I went through some emotional and physical trauma. These events provided an atmosphere of deep introspection of life and were a catalyst for self-transformation. I learned that I can be happy no matter what my past was, my current life circumstances are, or whatever the future holds. I am grateful for my past, because it has given me the opportunity to grow into who I am today.

This is a Life is good! type story.

It is important to understand that both versions of the story are just different perspectives of the same past events. The past hasn’t changed; the way I look at it has changed. What I choose to emphasize has changed. This switch from a negative perspective into a positive one changed my life.

The choice in how you see and tell your story will affect your self-image and how others see you. Don’t play the victim in your life story, and you won’t feel like a victim.

Today ask yourself, “What’s my story?” If you don’t like the story, then change it. Don’t fabricate lies, just re-frame how you describe past events and who you are. If you had past adversity or tragedy, begin to speak only of the lessons you have learned. Don’t focus on the pain. Focus on how you used the experience to grow as a person or how you learned more about yourself and life. If you can’t quite tell it in a positive fashion yet, then do not tell it at all! You write your own story. Make it a happy one.

Lesson #12:

You are the narrator of your life story. Make it a happy one!

Exercises:

Take time to sit down and rewrite your life story. It may take many rewrites before you eliminate all of the negative narration that you have been accustomed to telling yourself and others. At least start with one happier, more positive version of your story. You will be able to rewrite it as often and as much as you desire. There are numerous ways to tell any story. Make yours a happy one, even if you don’t believe it yet. Until you rewrite your life story into a happy one, refrain from telling it.

Watch how you talk about yourself and what you say about your life story. Story lines to avoid are the following:

“I can’t do that.”

“I’m not good at ____”

“I’m not good enough.”

“I feel like a victim of life circumstances.”

“I feel like a victim of past events.”

“Life is difficult.”

“I’ll never be happy because ____.”

“I’ll be happy when ______.”

You get the idea. Watch what you say about yourself and your life. Argue for your limitations, and you will always be right. Tell stories of victimization, and you play the part of victim.

Begin to use story lines that cast you as the hero.

“I learned so much going through _________. I am truly grateful for the experience.”

“Going through the loss of __________ really taught me how I should never take things for granted.”

“I learned that I can grow stronger through adversity.”

“I am not afraid to follow my dreams, because I know that failure is just a step on the path and another notch in my belt of experience.”

“I know I can be happy no matter what happens in my life.”

“Life is good!”

“I chose not to see myself as a victim of past circumstances but a student of life. If I didn’t learn something, then that would be a real tragedy.”

You are the narrator and the director and can cast yourself as any part you wish in your life story.

Advanced Exercise:

Moving beyond Your Story

Who would you be without your story? When you define yourself by your life story, you are still limiting yourself. You are more than your past, no matter how delightful, painful, exciting, or dramatic it has been. You are just a character in the story, not the story itself. It can be tempting, when people ask who you are, to start telling your life story. The next time someone asks you to share about yourself, tell them your dreams, your values, and what sparks your passion. It’s not who you were yesterday that matters; it’s who you choose to be now and tomorrow.

Laura Barrette Shannon

author of Be Happy Now:  Simple Steps for Enjoying Life

Buy Book Now:   http://tinyurl.com/7nmfzpc 

You Never Have to Do Anything

Do you feel that there isn't enough free time in the day to do everything you'd like to do? Realize that everything you do is exactly what you have chosen to do, and therefore you should do it with all your heart. There is no "free" time, just time. You can either spend it in joyful awareness, or spend it wishing you were doing something else, building feelings of resentment. It's a matter of committing yourself to whatever you are doing at the time. Either do it with joy, or don't do it.

I used to resent doing housework, especially washing the floors.  Then I realized that I choose to do it, no one is forcing me to wash floors.  I choose it because I want clean floors.  Why should I resent doing something that I choose to do? Now I put the radio on and practice singing while washing.  It becomes a joyful chore.

I often hear people complain about having to take care of their parents, grandparents or children's needs.  "I have to take Johnny to karate and then help him with homework, I have no time for myself."  Well, actually, the time you have with Joey in the car is time for building your relationship.  The time you are waiting for his karate lesson is time you could be reading, meditating, or catching up on phone calls.  The time you are helping with homework, you are fostering a better understanding of your child and nurturing his academic growth.  What part of these examples is wasted time?  All of it, if you are doing it with resentment in your heart.   

Lesson:

You never have to do anything. What you do with your time is your choice.

Exercise:

Be free to experience your time with awareness and joy.  Don't be a victim of your ego mind telling you that you could be doing something else instead.  These types of thoughts create unease and stress. Realize that you are free to spend your time however you choose.  Time is always free, are you?

Beware of the Green Eyed Monster

Jealous trains of thought lead directly to discontent, hatred, and insecurity.  When we allow ourselves to indulge in these type of thoughts we are weakening our sense of self worth.  There will always be someone better off than you are in good fortune, financial status, physical appearance, intelligence, or some other trait that you wish you had.  This recognition of the fact that people are different, that everyone has their own set of strong points will cause jealousy or envy if you don't balance the recognition that everyone also has their challenges, weaknesses, and personal demons too.  The next time you find yourself wishing you were someone else, or could experience their most desirable trait, remind yourself that no one is perfect.  The grass isn't greener in their life, unless you are overlooking their weeds.  

A healthier way to think about the traits we desire in others is to make a point to work on those traits ourselves, to let them be an inspiration for personal growth.  Let your envy turn into admiration.  

Be happy, my Friends,

Laura barrette Shannon

To Each His Own

A young man in search of wisdom asked, "Please tell me, Grandmother, how can I attain wisdom such as yours,? Which path can I take to follow you?" The wise old Grandmother replied, "Dear child, you can journey to where I am, but you can not follow me. The path to wisdom is a personal journey. There are many different roads to take, and no two are ever the same. You will find many guides and signs leading you along the path to wisdom, but only you can make the choices at each fork in the road.” “But, Grandmother, how will I know which way to go when I reach a fork in the road?” “Dear child, do not fret over which road to choose, all paths eventually lead to the same place. Some may look easier and faster if you are following in someone else's path, but it is when you make your own way, following your own path that you will not only find your way, but you'll have found yourself in the process.”

Resist the urge to think that your way or your path is the right way or only way. Allow others to travel their life journey according to their own heart. By respecting the beliefs and choices of others we have no need to defend our own. It demostrates that we acknowledge that everyone has their own path to forge, including ourselves. When we try to control other people we are taking their personal power away.

Allowing others to walk their own path does not mean we have indulge people caught up in victim mentality. Those are the people who seem to be looking for advice, but actually just want to draw you into their drama. They are looking for sympathy not solutions. Years ago, I used to give advice to others, and when they didn't follow my direction it would cause me to feel frustrated. I was attached to the outcome of how I thought they should act. If we can get to a place where we can offer guidance without attachment, have compassion for those who are still struggling to find themselves, and a let go and let God attitude, then we release ourselves from stressing over other people's lives.

When we constantly seek guidance and approval of our choices we give our personal power away. Seek wise advice as necessary, but always make the choice according to your own heart. Decide if what you are choosing is aligned with who you are. Is it aligned with your values and dreams of the future? Is the choice made out of love or out of fear? These questions will help you evaluate your life decisions. In the end, there really is no wrong choice made with awareness and love. You may decide that after a time you want to make a new choice in another direction. That is fine too, because all paths are tools for self introspection and offer lessons in life. Never regret anything you've done if you have learned an important lesson through the experience. Forgive yourself for being human. We all make choices that in hindsight we would do differently. Yet, we all do the best we can with the level of awareness we have at the time. If you are tolerant of your “mistakes” then you'll be tolerant when others make the same “mistakes.”

Lesson:

Life is a personal journey of self discovery. Allow others to have a chance to find themselves in their own way.

Exercise:

Does it upset you when people close to you don't follow your advice? Practice bringing awareness into the situation. Release your need to control their life choices because you know what is best for them. What is best for them is to figure out what is best for themselves by learning to follow their authentic self. Practice guidance without expectation. Be supportive of your loved ones even when they make choices that are different from what you would do.  

Be happy,my Friends-

Laura Barrette Shannon

The Cup is Already Broken

Shift to a higher awareness: The cup isn't half full, or half empty, it's already broken!

Instead of focusing on either side of the duality of life, become aware of the impermanence of life. All things, people, and relationships have a temporary and limited existence. Knowing this, embrace every moment of a relationship as sacred, and have appreciation for the string of ordinary moments that make up your life.

It is through appreciation and gratitude that life becomes a journey of joy! ♥

Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura barrette Shannon

Tell Me about Yourself

WHO would you be without your story? When you define yourself by your life story you are limiting yourself. You are more than your past, no matter how delightful, painful, exciting, or dramatic it has been, you are just a character in the story, not the story itself. It can be tempting, when people ask who you are, to start telling your life story. The next time someone asks you to share about yourself, tell them your dreams, your values, what sparks your passion. It's not who you were yesterday that matters, it's who you choose to be now and tomorrow.

Be Happy My Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

 

Two Men Go to the Park...

TWO MEN GO TO THE PARK: Mr. Happy notices the beautiful flowers, listens to the birds chirping, and enjoys feeling the sun on his face and the wind in his hair. Mr. Unhappy notices a few cigarette butts near a bench and starts complaining about how people are so inconsiderate. Then he starts complaining that the sun causes cancer, and the wind is messing up his hair.
They both were in the same place at the same time, but had two very different experiences. Happiness isn't caused by your external environment. It is the way you process the environment. You can either focus your attention on all the beauty, and what is pleasant, or you can focus your attention on everything that seems to be wrong with the world. The world is the same, it's the way you look at it that will make life either happy or miserable for yourself.
See Happiness, and Be happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

Ego Awareness

EGO AWARENESS- The next time someone shares an opinion or suggests an idea that is different from your own, see if you can resist the urge to share your point of view or push your own agenda. This exercise can be as simple as not being a back seat driver when someone else is driving, or as challenging as listening to someone with a completely different political viewpoint.

 Be aware of how it feels to rein in your ego. The uneasiness you feel is your ego fighting for control. As you practice ego awareness it will become easier to recognize the ego's controlling manipulations and easier to ignore it. When we can come to a point of humility, not always having to prove our opinions, allowing others to have alternate views, it brings more peace to relationships and to our own mind.
Be Aware, and Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura barrette Shannon

The Worried Woman

(photo from mrhpngo.com

There once was a woman who had two sons. The first son was a farmer and the second was a brick maker. During the rainy season, she lamented and cried because the brick maker couldn't make his bricks. During the dry season, she complained and worried that her son's crops would dry up and burn. Everyday she would be worried about one of her sons. One day a wise old monk came to town. The worried woman asked the wise monk how she can find peace and happiness when each day she is worried about one son or the other. The wise monk said, "On the days of rain, rejoice for your son's crops as his fields are being blessed with water to yield a plentiful harvest! On the days of sun, rejoice in the heat of the sun baking down on your son's bricks, allowing him to be more productive in his brick making business." From that day forward, the woman was happy everyday. (based on an old Buddhist tale)

What you focus on affects your level of happiness or misery. 

Choose Happiness my Friends-

Laura Barrette Shannon

What Do You See?

WHAT DO YOU SEE? The optical illusion above demonstrates that there is more than one way to look at things.  Our perceptions are filtered by our thoughts and attention.  The nature of your thoughts will affect the nature of your life. If you think about unfulfilled desires, drama, or the flaws in people, you will perceive more of the same. If you think about gratitude for what you have, peace in relationships, and the good in every person, then you will find that is exactly what life brings. Life is a mirror of your mind. You can't change what you see until you change how you're looking at it.  Take a close look at how you view life.  Do you like what you see?  If not, perhaps change the way you are looking at it, or change where you focus your attention.  You can't change the world, but you can change the way you see the world.
Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

Do You Do This?

A woman tending her garden sees a plane go by and dreams of travel, the traveling salesman on the plane sits next to an old man with thoughts of retirement, the retired old man is near a young family and yearns to be young again, the Mom is looking at the teenager in front of her and can't wait for her toddler to be self sufficient, the teen is looking out the window at the woman in her garden and wishes she could get married and have her own garden.
We often look away from where we are, either to the past, the future, or to what someone else has that we think we might enjoy, instead of being where we are in life. The grass isn't any greener anywhere else. Life is what YOU experience~ enjoy your own life.

Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

Are You Limiting Yourself?

 Our limitations all begin with what we believe. Believe you can't do something and you are never wrong. Question yourself when you find you have a limiting belief. Last night I realized I've been telling myself for years that I am a morning person, and as the day goes on I'm less mentally creative and therefore I never write at night. This belief limits my abilities, so I'm changing it. I now believe that I can get myself into a creative state of mind anytime of day. I'll begin practicing tonight and after a while it will be my new truth. All change starts with belief.
 Are you aware of any limiting beliefs that are holding you back from your full potential?
As you become aware of your various beliefs, ask yourself if they serve you or work against you.  Some beliefs work well for a time and then lose their usefulness, but because we never question them, we just keep acting on them.  For example, I used to believe that I couldn't sing well at all and that I couldn't ever learn to carry a tune.  So I never sang.  Then one day I decided to challenge the belief, to practice singing at home and then to sing karaoke to a crowd of people.  I did it.  I'm not afraid to sing in public now.  The old belief was limiting my self expression and served no purpose other than to back up my fear of singing in public.  
Take a careful look at why you avoid certain activities and you may discover that it is an old limiting belief that has been holding you back.  
Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

You Are the Narrator of Your Life

YOU are the narrator of your life. Begin watching how you talk about yourself. Your every word defines who you want the world to see, and reinforces how you think of yourself. If you keep the narration focused on unlimited potential for the future, lessons from past adversity, appreciation for the people who come and go, and gratitude for life itself, you will not only enjoy life more, you will be a joy to be around. Be a light in your own life, be your own best cheerleader, and watch your life be transformed! The choice in how you see and tell your story will affect your self image and how others see you. Don't play the victim in your life story and you won't feel like a victim. Today ask yourself, "What's my story?" If you don't like the story, then change it. Don't fabricate lies, just re-frame how you describe past events and who you are.  If you had past adversity or tragedy, begin to speak only of the lessons you have learned.  Don't focus on the pain, focus on how you used the experience to grow as a person, or how you learned more about yourself and life.  If you can't quite tell it in a positive fashion yet, then do not tell it at all!  You write your own story. Make it a happy one.

Watch how you talk about yourself and what you say about your life story. Story lines to AVOID are:
"I can't do that."

"I'm not good at____"

"I'm not good enough."

"I feel like victim of life circumstances."

“I feel like a victim of past events.”

"Life is difficult."

"I'll never be happy because____"

"I'll be happy when______."

You get the idea. Watch what you say about yourself and your life. Argue for your limitations and you will always be right. Tell stories of victimization and you play the part of victim. You are the narrator, the director, and can cast yourself as any part you wish in your life story.

Life is a story.  What's your story?

Be Happy, my Friends-

Laura Barrette Shannon

Lighten Up!

LIGHTEN UP! Would you rather be right or happy? Do you take yourself so serious that when you meet people with a difference of opinion you feel the need to set them straight?  Do you feel irritated or even threatened by listening to opposing points of view? Is it your job to teach everyone to think like you do? Ponder how these tendencies make you feel. 
Today, practice being an observer or a listener without getting into debates. Make an effort to hold your tongue without putting in your two cent point of view- even if you think they are totally wrong.  This is a valuable skill which will provide much less drama in your life.

Confidence is being able to share your opinions; Wisdom is not being attached to them.

Be Happy, my Friends,
Laura Barrette Shannon

How Can I Make Peace with My Past?

ARE you letting excess baggage from the past weigh you down? Are you holding onto grudges, rehashing past trauma, or thinking about what "should" have been? Ponder how these thoughts are pulling you down and making it harder to take steps forward in life. The first step is to recognize those heavy thoughts for what they are: Needless emotional suffering. When we indulge in these types thoughts, we work ourselves up into negative emotions. This is unnecessary. The past is over. There may have been suffering in the past, but it is over now. Truly, it's time to let it go. It's your choice: Either begin to make peace with your past, or continue suffering in the present.
How can you make peace with your past? Making peace with your past is an important step in achieving peace of mind and happiness. The first step is to stop rehashing the stories that cause you suffering. By repeating these stories, you reinforce the negative emotions. The next step is to eliminate the habit of focusing on past emotional baggage. This is accomplished by becoming aware of when you are thinking about such issues, then, immediately jumping off that train of thought. One of the easiest techniques for jumping off negative trains of thought is to bring your awareness back to the present moment by focusing on your five senses. Get outside of your head and become fully present. Pay attention to life as it is happening, instead of living life in your head thinking about the past. The more you practice, the less the thoughts will come, and the easier it will be to let go of your past pain.
Be gentle with yourself as you practice moving into a more present and happy state of being.
Be happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

The Mule in The Well

There once was an old mule who fell into an old dry well. He brayed and brayed until the farmer heard his cries. The farmer looked down at the old mule in the well and knew it would be impossible to try to lift him out. He thought about the situation and decided that since the mule and the well were old and useless, he should fill in the well, burying the mule to put him out of his misery. He started to shovel dirt into the well on top of the mule. Then, something surprising happened! As each pile of dirt came down on the mule, instead of being afraid and letting himself get buried, he would shake it off, and climb on top of it. Eventually, he was high enough to jump out of the well.

When life seems to throw dirt your way, trying to bury you or keep you down, shake it off and rise above it! This is when you realize that even what seems to be a problem or a tragedy can be used as a lesson to move you to a higher level of being.  In fact, it might just be what you need to push you out of the situation. 

Be like the old mule, some may think you are useless, weak and afraid, but that's not how you have to see yourself.   Like the mule, rise above what others think of you, shake off what ever dirt comes your way, and always look for the deeper meaning and lesson that can be learned from a situation or event.  In this way, you will elevate your awareness and understanding of life and yourself. 

Be Happy, my Friends-

Laura Barrette Shannon

The Wild Boar

Two men from different villages were out hunting for food. They both had hungry families at home waiting for some small bit of meat to cook into a stew. They didn't see each other in the dense forest, so when they both aimed and shot at a wild boar each man thought it was he who had hit it. As they approached the wounded boar, who was just lying there, they began to argue about who shot it and who had the right to bring it home. As they argued, they didn't even notice that the boar wasn't dead and had run away.

Don't be so caught up in arguing your point of view and trying to be right that you miss the big picture. When we come from a place of selfishness and lack, we are operating out of fear. The fear in these two men blinded them to the fact that there was enough to feed both families. Be aware of the benefits of working together toward a common goal.  When you are too attached to your view point it will hinder seeing other view points, which might prohibit you from seeing win/win resolutions to problems. Otherwise, everybody loses. 


Many Blessings-
Laura Barrette Shannon

What's Your Story?

Your story is what you tell yourself and others about your life. We do this all the time when we meet new people.  The longer we know them, the more we fill in the life story with whole chapters and characters we have met. The key is to know that you are telling the story, so you have the power to change the point of view of the narration.  
Is your story one of being a victim of circumstances, or is it one of triumph through adversity? Recognize that either version of the story is just a different perspective of the same past events. I could tell my story from a negative point of view:  My 11 year old daughter was tragically killed in an accident, and I have to deal with disabling health issues everyday, therefore my life is sad and depressing.  Woe is me...
Or I can tell my story with positive passion:  Many years ago I went through some emotional and physical trauma.  These events provided an atmosphere of deep introspection of life and were a catalyst for self transformation. I am grateful for my past, because it has given me the opportunity to grow into who I am today. Life is good!
Both versions of the story are describing the same past events.  The past hasn't changed, the way I look at it has changed.  This change in perspective changed my life.
 The choice in how you see and tell your story will affect your self image and how others see you. Don't play the victim in your life story and you won't feel like a victim.  Today ask yourself, "What's my story?"  If you don't like the story, then change it.  You write your own story!  Make it a happy one!


Many Blessings-


Laura Barrette Shannon

Redefine Free Time

Time is free, are you?

Do you feel that there isn't enough free time in the day to do everything you'd like to do? Realize that everything you do is exactly what you have chosen to do, and therefore you should do it with all your heart. There is no "free" time, just time. You can either spend it in joyful awareness, or spend it wishing you were doing something else, building feelings of resentment. It's a matter of committing yourself to whatever you are doing at the time. Either do it with joy, or don't do it.


I used to resent doing housework, especially washing the floors.  Then I realized that I choose to do it, no one is forcing me to wash floors.  I choose it because I want clean floors.  Why should I resent doing something that I choose to do? Now I put the radio on and practice singing while washing.  It becomes a joyful chore.


I often hear people complain about having to take care of their parents, grandparents or children's needs.  "I have to take Joey to karate and then help him with homework, I have no time for myself."  Well, actually, the time you have with Joey in the car is time for building your relationship.  The time you are waiting for his karate lesson is time you could be reading, meditating, or catching up on phone calls.  The time you are helping with homework, you are fostering a better understanding of your child and nurturing his academic growth.  What part of these examples is wasted time?  All of it if you are doing it with resentment in your heart.   


Be free to experience your time with awareness and joy.  Don't be a victim of your ego mind telling you that you could be doing something else instead.  These types of thoughts create unease and stress. Realize that you are free to spend your time however you choose.  Time is always free, are you?


many blessings~


Laura Barrette Shannon