Burning Away Your Pain

Most of us find ourselves caught up in emotional suffering from time to time.  If you feel like your in a funk, recovering from a personal loss, tragedy, or falling into a depression you can take action to alleviate the pain.  First, begin to find the small spark of joy and love within your heart.  Find what generates feelings of warmth and happiness.  Once you find your inner flame of joy, you can begin feeding the flame to make it grow stronger.  Feed the flame of inner joy with acts of compassion and service to your fellow man.  When you help others, it generates positive feelings of self worth and builds your capacity for compassion.  Another act of feeding the flame is to cultivate gratitude as much as possible.  When we focus on what we appreciate in life, we take the focus off of what we don't like.  As we begin paying more attention to the positive aspects of our lives, our heart begins to grow.  Compassion and gratitude will fill your soul with such joy, that your problems and emotional pain will take a back seat in your awareness.  As you pay less attention to your emotional pain, it will begin to fade.  Be warned:  the more attention you give to your problems and pain the stronger the negative emotional response will be.  Take control over your awareness and use it wisely.

Lesson: 

 Connect with the spark of joy 

and love within your heart.  

Then feed it with gratitude and compassion, 

allowing the flames to grow so strong

 that they burn away your pain.

Exercise:

Begin watching where you focus your awareness.  Do you focus on problems that are out of your control?  Do you often think about emotionally painful events from your past?  Do you look for what is wrong with the world or people around you, instead of what is good about them?  Retrain your awareness by tuning in to positive aspects of life.  Cultivate compassion through service and practice an attitude of gratitude and you will see amazing results in your moods.  Be kind to yourself as you progress in cultivating your awareness.  Any amount of effort will pay off with feelings of increased happiness.  

Laura Barrette Shannon

author of Be Happy Now book

Do You Do This?

There once was a woman who had two sons. The first son was a farmer and the second was a brick maker. During the rainy season, she lamented and cried because the brick maker couldn’t make his bricks. During the dry season, she complained and worried that her son’s crops would dry up and burn. Every day she would be worried about one son or the other. 

One day a wise old monk came to town. The worried woman asked the wise monk how she could find peace and happiness when each day she was worried about one of her sons. The wise monk said, “On the days of rain, rejoice! For your son’s crops are being blessed with water to yield a plentiful harvest! On the days of sun, rejoice! For the heat of the sun is baking down on your son’s bricks, allowing him to be more productive in his brick-making business.” From that day forward, the woman was happy every day. (This is the retelling of an old Buddhist tale.)

Lesson 6:

What you focus on affects your level of happiness or misery. 

Exercise: 

Start to evaluate the nature of the things you talk and think about. See if you can notice when you are focusing on negative life situations or worries. When we pay too much attention to things that are upsetting, and usually out of our control, we are upsetting ourselves for no reason. This is an awareness exercise. You don’t need to change your habits of thinking at this time; just become aware that what you focus on affects your level of happiness or misery.  As time goes on, and your awareness grows, you will be able to switch your attention onto the positive aspects of life, instead of indulging your attention on upsetting things in life.  The more you stay positive, the happier you will feel.  

Surround Yourself with Serenity

A simple Zen garden is great for a few minutes of meditation

Is your home or work desk a mess? Feeling that your living environment isn’t quite as organized as you would like it to be is a personal call. Everyone has his or her own comfort level of tidiness. If your environment isn’t aligned with your level of expectation, it can make you feel uncomfortable, scattered, and stressed. 

Our living spaces are reflections of ourselves. When the mind is scattered, it flows out into the environment, manifesting as disorganization. 

Everyone has his own level of comfort when dealing with how he keeps his environment. Some are perfectionists—one item out of place or one dirty dish will start the mind chatter. Others are more relaxed with how much clutter can accumulate before it bothers them. If it begins to bother you with mental chatter—“This is a mess. I really need to clean this. I hope no one comes over and see this mess”—then it’s time to take action. If it is bothering you, then start to reorganize and freshen it up. 

As your living environment begins to be more organized, your mind will feel more relaxed. If you can purge unnecessary items or too many objects you have been holding onto that represent memories from the past, you will feel a surge of freedom. When we hang onto objects, we invest some of our metal energy in emotional attachment. Whenever you can release these types of items, it is an act of healing and personal freedom. 

Lesson: 

Your living environment is a reflection of your state of mind.

 A soothing environment aids in calming your mind. 

Exercise: 

To regain comfort and peace in your living spaces, choose one small area where you spend a lot of time, and freshen it up by cleaning and organizing it. Reduce clutter and add peaceful items, such as fresh flowers, a water fountain, candles, pictures of loved ones, or anything else that soothes you. A zen sand and rock garden can do wonders for a few brief minutes of meditation.  I have a salt rock lamp that I keep on my desk. I also enjoy lighting incense , candles, and listening to relaxing music. Try different methods to activate your senses of sight, smell, and sound. 

Start small. Even one clean and calm area will make a difference in how you feel. Start with where ever you spend the most time. As you feel the resulting peace of mind and calmness, you will be encouraged to continue cleaning another day. Be patient with yourself as you move into a more peaceful environment.

Life's Practical Jokes :-)

Being caught without an umbrella in an unexpected rain, 

dropping ketchup on your shirt,

children dragging mud in on the freshly washed floor,

spilling coffee in your new car,

getting splashed with mud by a passing bus...

Sometimes life sends us these reminders to lighten-up, not take ourselves so seriously, to learn to laugh instead of being upset. Think of it as a friendly reminder to shake your head and just smile. 

Learning to laugh at the little ironies that pop up from time to time is a valuable coping mechanism.  It transmutes irritation into comical relief.  You will automatically feel better about the situation as you realize that these small inconveniences are really not that important anyway.  They bring the variety of surprise to a life of over expectation.  Not everything will always go the way you plan.  It is these tiny bits of practical jokes that Life will play on us that  reminds us not to sweat the small stuff.  It puts things back into perspective:    The objects we place emotional value in are just things.  Our physical appearance is not who we are, and a clean house will always need cleaning again.  Practice finding the humor in life's tiny inconveniences and minuscule tragedies.  The next time something unexpected and slightly irritating comes your way, take one long deep breath and then just shake your head and laugh.  Be grateful for the friendly reminder to lighten up your day, and enjoy telling the story with humor to make others laugh too!

Be happy, my friends-

Laura Barrette Shannon

author of Be Happy Now: Simple Steps for Enjoying Life

10 Ways to Be Happier Now!

10 Quick Mood Enhancers:

SMILE. Studies have shown that the mere act of smiling actually fools the body into feeling happier. So fake it until you make it. Smile for no reason, and the smiles you get back will help to raise your spirits.

SHOWER. Water is naturally rejuvenating. It cleanses the mind and spirit as well as the body. If you are in a funk, take a long shower and you will immediately feel uplifted.

WALK. Taking a short walk will pep you up, release stress, and give you some exercise at the same time.

SING. Singing increases oxygen, clears the mind, and makes you feel good.

LAUGH. Laughter feels good, reduces stress, and brings people closer together. Learn to laugh at yourself. Watch comedies, tell silly jokes, or just start laughing all by yourself for no reason.

MEDITATE. The calming effects of meditation are well known. Even a short five-minute breathing meditation will de-stress you and lift your mood.

SERVICE. Helping others lifts the spirits of two people. Service is an act of spirituality.

DANCE. Dancing is great for stress relief, getting the blood pumping, and expressing the joy of living.

HUG SOMEONE. When we share our loving energy with others, it is reflected back at us. Feel the love. Hug someone!

STAND TALL. Did you know that the way you sit and stand can affect your mood? If you are hunched over with your head down and shoulders sagging, the chances are good that you are feeling unworthy, blue, or troubled. If you change your posture by keeping your shoulders back, head up, and back straight, you will not only start to appear more confident, you will feel it too.

For more happiness tips you can buy the book :) here:  Be Happy Now: Simple Steps for Enjoying Life

What Trains Are You Riding?

“The greater part of human pain is unnecessary. It is self-created as long as the unobserved mind runs your life.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Thoughts are like trains passing through your mind. You can either let the train go by, silently watching it flow through, or you can jump on the train of thought, allowing it to bring you to a destination. Some trains go to happy places: warm memories, future dreams, gratitude, present surroundings. Others go to places of misery: regret, worry, resentment, complaints. Be aware of what train you jump on. When you pay attention to trains of thought, they grow stronger and come more often. Begin to be aware of how your thoughts affect your moods. Ask yourself, “Where is this train going?” Then you can either stay on it or jump off! 

The optimal goal is not to allow ourselves to indulge in trains of thought that lead to misery and suffering. But since this takes time to master, most of us will occasionally find ourselves on a self-destructing train of thought. To maintain peace of mind, we must learn how to jump from negative trains to happy trains.

There are many ways to change your train of thought. One of the easiest is to bring your awareness back to the present moment. Use the ABCs of redirecting attention. A- Awareness B- Breathe C- Choose.  Take one or two slow, deep breaths. Pay attention to your surroundings; concentrate on feeling your body sensations, sights, sounds, and smells. When you are fully present, your mind will not be thinking about past trauma, today’s complaints, or tomorrow’s worries. You will be in the now, fully aware and free to experience life outside your head until you choose to jump onto a more pleasant train of thought. Practice being aware of what train you are riding, and jump trains as necessary. The more you practice, the easier it will be, until one day it will be second nature. The less attention you pay to the negative trains of thought, the less often they will come to mind and the quicker they will pass through, eventually not coming much at all.

Lesson:

By redirecting your attention, you have the ability to jump off negative trains of thought.

Exercise:

Practice jumping trains of thought.

When you become aware that you are riding on a negative train of thought, jump off. Practice bringing your awareness back to the present moment. Take a slow, deep breath. Engage in the sensory input around you. Stay present as long as possible. Engage in your life as it is unfolding before you. Become an active participant in your surroundings. Eventually, pick a happier train of thought to ride. Choose trains like gratitude, future dreams, or compassion.

Be patient with yourself during this training phase. It’s been a lifetime riding on the same unhappy trains over and over. It will take some time to lay new train tracks. Any amount of effort you give this exercise will pay off as it will raise your awareness and hone your ability to focus your attention at will.  

Seeing with New Eyes

(Image eclecticcommons.telldat.net)

Do you feel like you are living a dull drum or meaningless life? Are you looking to get back that spark of passion and joy? Start by looking at your day with new eyes. Look for the beauty in all things.  If you are looking for what's wrong with the world, that is all you will see. If you are looking for the beauty of the world, you will find it in everything.

 Look for the lessons in all experiences and they are evident. No experience is a waste when you can see the life lessons that you are offered by going through it.  Even tragic experiences are opportunities to learn more about yourself and life.  If you suffer through a traumatic experience and never learn anything, then that is a real tragedy.  Be grateful that you have the ability to raise your awareness to the level of seeing life as a learning experience.  Those who never come to this awareness are condemned to a life of suffering in their own mind.  

 Look for things to be grateful for, and they are endless. There are so many privileges that we are able to enjoy in this day and age.  Be grateful for indoor plumbing, electricity, a warm bed, and enough food to eat.   Focusing on what you are grateful for will eliminate the minor complaints of everyday life, by readjusting your vision.  You will begin to see that what most people complain about are minor inconveniences, not real problems.  

When you begin to focus on these positive aspects of vision, you will begin the spark of your inner happiness, igniting the fire of passion and joy for life. Once this happens, life will never be dull again! 

How Do You Play the Game?

(image clemson.edu)

I heard an interesting comment this week.  The person stated that success is having achieved that which you determine to do.  Now, that sounds like a wonderful thing- achieving your goals!  But is it really a definition of success?  For me, success is being who I am. Whether I achieve my goals or not, if I travel life with authenticity, by being the best Laura I can be, I have succeeded.  It's the manner of the journey, not the destination that determines success.  It really doesn't matter if you win or lose, it is how you play the game of life that determines your level of mastery.  

When we define ourselves as unsuccessful, because perhaps we have fallen short of meeting our goals, we invalidate the process we went through working toward the goal.  When you are authentic to yourself, you will choose goals that are in alignment with who you are.  This enables you to create for the experience of creating, not just for the creation at the end.  Many Buddhist monks practice this daily as they create intricate sand designs, each one taking much time and attention.  The end result is a beautiful sand mandala, but each one is slowly blown away  with the wind as the day progresses.  They create not for the sake of the temporary creation.  They create for the opportunity to experience creating.  The fact that their elaborate sand design will only last a few hours reminds them that the focus of life should not be on external  creations, but on inner awareness.  All creations will deteriorate over time.  All experiences will be forever.  This is why living life with awareness, authenticity, and joy is more important than winning or losing.

 I play the game of life with awareness and integrity, therefore I win every day.  How do you play the game?

Laura Barrette Shannon

  

What's Your Input?

(image leggnet.com)

Honestly evaluate what you feed your mind everyday.  Every source of input you allow into your mind will become a seed of thought.  That is how advertising works. They bombard you with the same ads over and over until you are brain washed into buying their product.  Life in general is the same way, filled with sensory input, which when focused on over and over will sway your thoughts which in turn affects your moods.  What you choose to pay attention to feeds your mind.  If you are feeding it an over abundance of pointless drama (reality TV), negativity (gossip), and meaningless distractions (video games) then the result will be a life of drama, negativity, and meaninglessness.  

Be aware that what you watch on TV, what you spend your time talking about, and what types of posts you allow in your Facebook news feed, will have an overall effect on your mental state of mind. If you watch horror TV (too much news, shows with violence) you are filling your mind with images and drama that may come back to haunt you with unhappy trains of thought. If you get involved with gossipy conversations, those drama filled thoughts will be circling around in your head, urging you to share the gossip with others. If your Facebook news feed is filled with people who post negative content on a regular basis, such as complaining about life or other people, this will disturb your peace of mind. 

It is easier to regulate what you are feeding your mind, than to eliminate the unhappy or disturbing thoughts once they have been put in there.

You are in control of what you feed your mind. If you want to be happier and enjoy a life of meaning then begin feeding your spirit with more uplifting input.  Forget reality TV and come back to your own reality.  Take time to see and hear your natural environment.  Pay attention to the people in the room with you. Turn off the TV and computer, make plans with people you enjoy being around, laugh until it hurts your cheeks, and make some happy memories. Start on a diet of positivity and you will see amazing results.

So, what's your input?

Tree Meditation

Lay under or sit against a tree. Take your hands and feel the cool grass or Earth beneath you. Imagine the intricate root system of life growing under you. You are lying within the life energy of the tree. Feel the energy. Watch the movement and pay attention to the shadows of the leaves as they move. The tree is alive. Connect with this living system of energy.  When other thoughts come to your mind, let them pass through.  A train of thought without a passenger to pick up will fly right by and not stop.  Refocus on your surroundings.  What do you feel? What do you hear?  What do you smell?  Commune with the movement of the leaves as they dance in music of the wind.  What is the song about?

When we take time to reconnect with nature, we are reconnecting with ourselves.  We are not a part from nature, but a part of nature.  Knowing this, you can come home any time.  Be one with nature and be happy, my friends!

Laura Barrette Shannon

Feed the Birds

Bird feeding isn't just for children and old people. Take a few minutes to connect with your natural world by feeding the birds. Watch them fly, watch them eat, watch them interact with each other. Connect with them . We get so caught up in our busy lives that we forget that we are part of nature too. We are not separate or above the natural world.  It is us.  When we are constantly disconnected from our natural surroundings it creates disharmony in our spirit.

Being in balance with nature is an integral part of being spiritually and emotionally balanced.  When we spend time feeling the connection it rejuvenates our spirit and relaxes our mind and body.  

If you live near a beach or a park, make an effort to spend some time relaxing there, connecting with the wild life.  If you are lucky enough to have a yard with wildlife, set up a bird feeder or bird bath.  One of my favorite outdoor meditations is to just sit in my own backyard and feel the connection around me.  It draws you mind away from everything else for a little while.  You will feel refreshed and recharged.   And besides being a great outdoor meditation it's a relaxing way to give back to nature. It's cold outside, feed the birds and feed your spirit too!

Laura Barrette Shannon

The Power of Silence

In Eastern cultures it is a natural part of growing up.  Their children are taught, and regularly practice meditation to calm the soul and connect with spirit.  They understand the value and necessity of silencing the body and mind for mental health.  The importance of balance is well understood and actively practiced.  

Silence is music to the soul.   Our culture, especially this time of year, bombards us with audio and visual stimuli and the stress of over scheduled agendas.  Too much physical and mental activity drowns out our still small voice of intuition, disconnecting us from Spirit.  Take a few minutes every day to just BE. In the sounds of silence you will feel the calming stillness of inner peace.  

Silence...

quietly sings

breathes peace

frees thought

brings release

Silence...

connects one

to the source

allows unity

guides course

Silence...

relaxes mind

clears chatter

relieves worry

so fears shatter

Silence...

charges soul

renews self

taps knowledge

of innate wealth

(From Awakening Perception, 2006)

Exercise:

Sit or lay still, relaxing your body.  Breath deeply and slowly.  Concentrate on your breath as it fills your body with oxygenating life force.  Feel the stress leaving your body as you exhale.  You can do this simple stress relieving exercise any time you feel overwhelmed, or just want to reconnect with Spirit.  Even just a few minutes will help regain emotional and spiritual balance.  Start practicing this simple meditation every day and you will begin to embrace silence as your sanctuary.

Scheduling Life Outside Your Head

Let’s discuss the future. The future is not Now, yet on a practical level it deserves some consideration in the Now. It’s not necessary to dwell on tomorrow too much, but you do need to have some sort of clue as to what you are doing today, next week, and next year.

Planning for the future, scheduling small tasks, appointments, and goals is an important part of being a functional adult. Especially in today’s society, it has become necessary to organized and prioritize life at least to some extent. There’s nothing wrong with planning. Planning has its purpose.

Thinking about the future is part of being a human being. The problem for unhappy people is too much thinking about the future in negative ways. When you worry about what may happen later today, tomorrow, and next year you are focusing on all the “bad” things that may possibly occur. Most of the time these scenarios never play out. By worrying, unhappy people occupy their minds with negative thoughts which creates anxiety. They worry about every little thing, making themselves a nervous wreck.

Worrying about the future is just as unproductive as dwelling on the past. There’s nothing you can do about the past, it was as it was. In the same way, the future will unfold as it will, with or without your worrying.

That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t plan and be prepared for life. Be proactive, do what you can to anticipate life and drive yourself toward your dreams. But, let go of those thoughts that needlessly focus on undesired outcomes. When you worry, you are preoccupying your mind with thoughts that generate anxiety, which results in stress. If you find yourself worrying, gently bring yourself into the present. Evaluate the concern you were thinking about and decide if there is something that you can do to prevent the undesired outcome. If you can be proactive,do it! And then let the situation go. Don’t allow the worrying thoughts to take over your mind and hijack your emotions.

Since we live in a busy world, there is usually numerous activities that need to be scheduled in the near future. Set aside time to prioritize and schedule your life. It probably won’t take more than 15 minutes of your day. You can use this time to do all the thinking and planning for the day. Once this is accomplished it will be easier to push the worrying aside.

Many people find it helpful to address their agenda for the following day before they go to bed. If you have a clear picture of what your schedule will be tomorrow, you will sleep better. There will be no reason to lie awake worrying or even just thinking about all the tasks that need to get done. Do not attempt to keep your entire life scheduled in your head. Use a calender, appointment book, or a PDA. Once you write it down you will be able to let the thoughts go. There will be no reason to think about it any more. The important tasks will be scheduled and you will think about them when the time comes.

Lesson:

Too much time spent on thinking about the future will result in needless worrying. Schedule your life outside of your head.

Exercise:

It’s time to stop worrying and over thinking about everything you need to do. This week start using an appointment book or other form of agenda. Take a few minutes before bed to look over the next day so you know what the plans are when you wake up. Then have a restful night.

If you catch yourself worrying, gently bring yourself back to the present moment. Take a deep breath. Evaluate the worry. Is it something you can take action to prevent? If so, then do it. If not, then it's time to let the thoughts flow through and out of your mind. Keep your attention on the Now. Enjoy your time without worry.

Be With Nature

As I lay in the hammock in my backyard, a big yellow butterfly passes by, capturing my attention. I am immediately transported to a world of floral delight, fluttering from flower to flower. I feel the wind blow and begin losing myself in the movement of the leaves mixed with shadows in the tree above me. After a few minutes I gaze through an opening in the tree canopy and concentrate on the passing clouds, each animated shape becoming alive before it dissolves into the blue background. A mocking bird calls me back to Earth and then the melodic sound of the waterfall entrances me with its gentle rumble.

Take time to be with nature, time to be one with nature. The above backyard meditation is easy to do. Just sit quietly and observe your surroundings without commentary. Use your senses and explore the wonders of the natural world.

The ocean is my sanctuary,

Where I return like rivers and rain,

Reminding me of the greater whole,

from whence my soul once came.

No matter how far mankind has tried to distance himself from nature, the fact remains that humans are a part of nature. We live in a time where people have learned to spend most of their day disconnected from Mother nature. In the modern world, we spend time in a variety of boxes that separate us from our natural surroundings. There is the house where you live, perhaps spending half your day or more inside this domestic box. There may be the building where you work, and some of you even have a little office or a cubicle box. There are the mobile boxes such as cars, buses, and trains. We spend our time moving from one box to another, keeping ourselves as far away from nature as our money can buy.

Watching nature is viewed from television sets and computers. The art of sitting outside, relaxing, and just being with nature is becoming uncommon. The electronic age has taken over our minds, luring us to spend countless hours watching TV, connected to the Internet, and glued to our cell phones waiting for the next text message or tweet. Our minds are being hooked by audio visual electronic stimuli to the point where we have tuned out what we feel with our body and the smell and taste of our food because we aren't paying attention. We are forgetting the purpose of having a physical body is so that we can experience the world through our senses.

Not all of you are caught up in your boxes, but most unhappy people have this in common. If you are one of those people, get out of your box! By getting fresh air and sunshine you will give yourself a boost of happiness. Take a short walk, read outside, go for a hike, go fishing, camping, biking, or just sit quietly outside taking in the sights and sounds. You will begin to reconnect with the natural world. You'll begin to notice your habitat and surroundings. You'll become aware of and even stop to watch birds and butterflies. The more you can incorporate being outside in nature, the bigger the emotional reward will be.

Besides the relaxing benefits of reconnecting with nature, the human body benefits from sunlight itself. The amount of sunlight we receive affects our levels of vitamin D. Vitamin D is absorbed through exposure to sunlight. Studies have shown that low levels of vitamin D may cause some people to feel symptoms of depression. So sunshine can actually brighten your day emotionally! Take a few minutes every day to bask in the sunlight and renew your spirit

When we take time to connect with nature we recharge our spirits and relax our minds. Being outside encourages us to use our senses as they were meant to be used: experiencing our surroundings. We give ourselves the opportunity to feel the sunlight, rain, and wind. We can experience the sweet sound of bird songs and be a witness the miracle of flight. We can dig our toes in the sand at the beach, or smell the freshness of damp grass on a summer morning. Being with nature allows us to be present, which reduces stress and rejuvenates the soul. Increase your awareness of your surroundings and you may be surprised how much it enhances your life.

Lesson #26:

Being with nature encourages presence, which reduces stress and rejuvenates the soul.

Exercise:

Spend some time everyday outside. Incorporate outdoor activities as much as possible. Practice being with nature. Learn to hear the sounds, distinguish the scents, and appreciate the sights of the the natural world. If you find thoughts of the past or the future coming to mind, refocus on your surroundings. This exercise helps train your ability to focus and to be present while rejuvenating yourself at the same time.

Simple outdoor meditations:

• Sit quietly, close your eyes, and listen to as many distinct sounds you can sense.
• Watch the movement and pay attention to the shadows of the leaves in a tree.
• Close your eyes and see how many distinct scents you can sense.
• Sky watch. Gaze at the clouds or the stars.

Awaken Your Inner Child

When we were children we were free. We lived in the moment, focusing on just being a child. If you are in my generation or older, then you probably were never bored. This seems to be a new phenomenon among our youth in the last twenty years or so. No, when I was young I was never bored. I played outside, with or without toys, with or without friends. Whatever I was doing was all that mattered at the time.

As we get older we lose that feeling of freedom to be only in the moment. We become slaves to our wondering mind, often thinking about the past or the future, and not really living in the moment. We become absent in our own lives. The body breathes, walks, performs actions, but the mind is somewhere else. When we consciously bring our attention to the present moment, we become like little children again. We enjoy our life with more vigor. We begin to be present in our own life.

When you are free like a child you naturally express your innate creativity and wonder. Children use their imaginations, opening their world to endless possibilities. They are naturally inquisitive, creative, playful, and willing to explore their world. It's time to live like a child again. When you become present you will pay more attention to your surroundings. You will notice the flowers as you walk into the bank, you will notice the stars at night and maybe take time to watch the sunset. You will have more time to pursue creative activities and more time to play. How can you have more time? Remember how long summer vacations used to seem when you were young? The more present you are the slower time seems to flow. When you aren't stuck inside your head and are actually present, time seems to expand.

Practice being present and you will begin to awaken the little child inside of you. Everything will become more fun. Your inner child will want to play because children love to play. They enjoy being outside in nature, looking at clouds, even playing in the rain! Your inner child might want to try new things, play games, redecorate a room, or make the food on the dinner plate look pretty. Be present and you will feel an urge to express new wonder, playfulness, and creativity.

Lesson :

Reconnecting with your inner child makes life more fun and expands time.

Exercise:

Practice bringing child like awareness into something that you normally do without awareness. It could be as simple as taking a walk.. If you normally are caught up in thoughts while walking, switch your awareness to your surroundings. Take a new route. Make a game out of it. How many animals can you see along the way? How many distinct sounds are around you? Does one street smell different than another street? If you were blind folded would you be able to know which street you were on?

Or maybe awaken your inner child while making dinner. Instead of being caught up in thoughts about the past or future, pay attention to what you are doing. Make a new recipe, or use your creativity in presentation and table setting design. Practice feeling the textures of the different foods as you prepare them. Take a moment to smell them. Be present and the experience will be totally different than mindlessly making dinner while listening to TV.

Practice reconnecting with your inner child and life will be fuller and more fun.

Happiness Can Be as Simple as Cooking Chili

"I CAN'T STOP thinking about _____and it's upsetting me." We have all been there at one time. It may be a past pain or a future worry that is disturbing your peace of mind. You may have tried to be present to keep the thought at bay, but it just keeps coming back. Here are a few hyper-focus techniques that will effectively block those haunting thoughts:

Create: When you focus on a new garden project, cooking a new recipe, or redecorating a room you are paying attention to the process of creation. This usually will keep your attention enough to quell negative trains of thought. My favorites: cooking chili, sand castles, finger painting.

Play games: Playing games will focus your attention enough to stop all other thoughts from taking over your mind. If you are alone, try puzzles, word games, or Sudoku. Scrabble is my favorite. Playing board games has the added value of nurturing relationships. (I highly recommend this to all families.) Playing sports has the added benefit of exercise. Even watching sports can sometimes be enough to grab your attention and keep your focus outside of your head. 

Music: Singing happy songs will hyper-focus your mind on breathing, tone, rhythm, etc. Karaoke requires even more attention by having to read at the same time. This will effectively keep your mind from wandering onto negative trains of thought. You also get the bonus of deep breathing! Playing a musical instrument also requires your full attention. These activities are like musical meditation!

Service: When we are helping others we are focused away from our own problems. Volunteer in your community or church. When you are of service, you are not only being a productive member of your community, you will feel better about yourself. 

Dance: Take a class, or make up the moves as you go. Any kind of dancing will do the trick! Make dancing a regular part of your life.

Of course, keep practicing breathing and being present as much as possible, but sometimes these techniques may be just what you need to break the negative train of thought and force you into the Now.

Lesson:

Being hyper-focused on an activity can effectively stop negative trains of thought from circling in your mind.

Exercise:

Become aware if you caught up in unhappy thoughts that keep circling in your mind. When you find that a few deep breaths are not enough to jump off the train of thought then use a hyper-focus technique to keep those disturbing thoughts at bay.   You will discover which techniques work best for you.  Have fun while clearing your mind of unwanted thoughts.  :)

The Little Fears Will Destroy You

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." ~Master Yoda~

Be aware of your fears, face them with courage, for it is not that which you are afraid of that will destroy you, it is the fear itself that has that power. It isn't always the big fears that destroy our peace of mind, it is usually the little fears, called "worries" that bring us suffering.

What are you worried about? Being in the mindset of "what could go wrong" can work to your advantage if you allow it to push you to be prepared with a plan "B", or to take proactive steps to insure undesired outcomes are averted. In contrast, excessive worrying about things you have no control over will disturb your peace of mind.

Learn to distinguish between the two types of worries If you can take action to prevent an undesirable outcome, then be proactive or plan as you deem necessary. Then let the thoughts go, by reminding yourself that you have done what you can do and are prepared for whatever the future unfolds. If you have no control over what you may imagine happening, then there is no need to waste your mental energy upsetting yourself. Use whatever methods you find work for you to jump off of the worry train of thought. Being aware when you are caught up in worrying is one step closer to stopping it.

Lesson:

Worrying is a waste of mental energy and destroys peace of mind.

Exercise:

Begin to be aware of when your mind wanders onto worries. When you are worrying take appropriate action if possible to aleviate the worry. If the situation you are worried about is out of your control then jump off the worry train of thought. Take a slow deep breath and refocus your mind on being present or more uplifting trains of thought. The more you practice not worrying the less apt you will be to focus on things out of your control. All thoughts feed on attention. Don't feed worries and they go away.

Everyone Has Their Own Garden (Weeding 101)

So far we’ve learned that life is like a flower garden, and we are the one’s who plant the seeds.  We either unconsciously let the garden get overrun with weeds of dissatisfaction or we can consciously take control of our garden, planting beautiful flowers of happiness.  We’ve practiced changing the way we respond to life and gained awareness of how our thoughts and attention can be used as a tool for creating a life of joy and peace.

The next step involves exploring the concept that everyone has their own separate flower garden.  Each garden is as personal as the person who tends it.  Not everyone’s garden will be a floral work of art.  As a matter of fact, most people’s gardens are filled with weeds of unhappiness, choking the life out of a few happy moments in their life..

One of the most challenging aspects of owning a garden is keeping out the weeds.  When people who have neglected their garden interact with others, they spread their weeds.  This is not intentional.  This is never personal.  They are not trying to ruin your happy state of being.  They aren’t even aware that they have a garden, or that they should pay attention to it.  They believe that life is filled with unhappy events, that some days are good and some days are bad, and that they have no control over any of it.  They have learned to focus on the unhappy events and to share them repeatedly throughout the day.    

You can’t change people. Their weeds have been building up over a lifetime and actually the only one who is capable of weeding is the one who owns the garden.  Even though you can’t change people you can change how you respond to them.  When someone is taking their frustrations out on you, Instead of re-acting, being upset yourself, you can choose to act with awareness.  Your response may be to just ignore the comment, it might be to respond in a positive way, or it might be just telling them you don’t want to hear about it.  Take a moment to have compassion on them, because they are filled with unhappiness in that moment.  See them for what they are;  unhappy people just letting off steam.  It’s never personal.

When people say negative things to you, you can make sure they don’t take root in your garden.  To do this you have to realize that what people say and do are a result of their own state mind at the time.  It actually doesn’t have anything to do with you.  It’s never personal.  When people complain about life  they are just expressing their unhappy thoughts that have built up. The unhappy thoughts germinate into unhappy moods. All the negative thoughts create negative energy that  needs to be discharged.    If we realize that what they are saying isn’t personal, it is just a result of a garden filled with unhappy weeds, then you will see that what they say has nothing to do with you.  It is no more personal than if your neighbor's dandelion seeds spread onto your lawn at home.

It is very important not to let those weeds germinate in your garden. You won’t be able to keep the weeds from spreading to your garden if you allow them to take seed.  The first step is to be aware when the weeds are blowing your way.  Once you notice them, you will be able to change the flow of the wind so that they just fly past your garden.

So what are these weeds that people blow our way every day?  It’s all the negative things people say to you.  It’s listening to their complaints. It’s when your spouse snaps at you because he can’t find his keys.  It’s your boss yelling at you because she’s in a bad mood.  It’s the guy who just cut you off in traffic and then beeped at you like it was your fault.  It’s your Mom when she comes home in a bad mood and starts in on you because your homework isn’t done.  It’s all the negatively charged emotions that are verbalized at you all day.

Lesson:

Everyone has their own garden, some are full of the weeds of stress and unhappiness.  Don’t let other people’s weeds take root in your garden!

Exercise:

This week bring your attention to your interactions with people.  If they try to spread their unhappiness with you, respond with awareness instead of re-act. Take a breathe, and bring your full attention on remaining calm. When you see the weeds blowing your way, see them for what they are.  Remind yourself that it isn’t personal.  They are just expressing their unhappiness.  Keep your focus on having compassion for them, because they are suffering from their own bad mood.  Let those weeds fly right by your beautiful flower garden, and go about your day as if it never happened.

If you find yourself becoming upset, and repeating the negative interaction over and over in your mind, then the weed has taken root.  It’s not too late.  When you notice that your mind is dwelling on negative thoughts, the sooner you stop it the easier it will be to uproot.  Gently bring your attention back to the present moment. Take a deep breath and pay attention to where you are now, what you are doing now. Bring your full attention to whatever you are doing in the moment. Each time the negative train of thought comes to mind, don't pay attention to it. Let it flow right through. Do not jump on any train of thought that will bring you to an unhappy destination. The more you practice this, the easier it will be to let the thoughts flow with out getting your attention hooked. Again, don't judge your efforts. It took a lifetime to build the habit of jumping on every train of thought without question. It will take some time to break the habit. Every tiny bit of awareness that you bring to this endeavor will pay off.