"Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are." ~ Arthur Golden
In everyone's life, relationships will end, health may decline, and people will pass on. We all have to deal with loss and grief eventually. It is important to allow your emotions to flow, to allow yourself to feel any way that you feel, without judging or suppressing your emotions. Let the emotions flow, then let them go. The sadness will eventually pass if you process the emotions with the knowledge that this too shall pass.
Part of being happy and enjoying life is learning to move through the low tides without getting stuck. Some people have a tendency to cling to loss much longer than it is healthy. There may be thoughts of what-ifs, should-have-beens, or even blame. All of these thoughts are unhealthy and will not help you move out of the darkness. There are others who cling to their loss like a victim. They become attached to their pain. They think that by letting go of emotional pain, they are dishonoring the relationship- as if by not feeling sad they are expressing to the world that their relationship wasn't that strong. These types of thoughts can keep them in the darkness for the rest of their lives. There is no dishonor in moving past grief and being happy again. When we cling to grief, we dishonor our own life and our own spirit. I realized this after my eleven year old daughter, Nicole, died in 2000. There were times when my victim mentality would creep into my mind and tell me lies about how i should never be happy again. I came to the decision that the best way to honor her memory was to move forward and make the best of my life. It is then that instead of destroying my life, her death became a catalyst for personal transformation. It is in this way that your greatest loss can be your greatest gift. Allow yourself to move through it, instead of getting stuck in it or trying to forget it. Remember, what seems like a tragic circumstance can be used as a lesson to move you to a higher level of awareness.
Many blessings to those of you that are going through a dark time in your life right now. Please know that you can move through even the darkest time in your life, if you allow yourself.
You can move through even the darkest time in your life, if you allow yourself.
Ask yourself if you are emotionally stuck in the grief of a personal loss. If you are, begin to give yourself permission to move through the grief process toward a feeling of peace. Begin to believe that a devastating loss doesn't have to wound you forever. Begin to believe that you deserve to be happy again.
Make a conscious choice to steer your trains of thought toward the present and the future when you find yourself focused on what you have lost.
You may find these affirmations helpful:
"It is okay to be happy again."
"I am more than my greatest loss."
"I am grateful for this opportunity to transform myself."
"What does not kill me makes me stronger,
and compels me to connect with who I am."
"Go is always here to support and strengthen me."