The Grass Really Isn't Greener...

A married woman tending her garden sees a plane go by and dreams of travel. The traveling salesman on the plane sits next to an old man, which starts him dreaming of retirement. The retired old man sitting across from a young family yearns to be young again. The young mother is looking at the teenager sitting in front of her and can’t wait for her toddler to be self-sufficient. The teen is looking out the window at the woman in her garden and wishes she was older so she could get married and have her own garden.

We often look away from where we are to the past, the future, or to what someone else has that we think we might enjoy, instead of being where we are in life. The grass isn’t any greener anywhere else. Life is what you experience. Enjoy your own life instead of wishing you were someone else or in a different time in your life. Each part of your life will be different from the others, but each is worth experiencing while it is here. Whether you are young, old, single, married, traveling, or being a homebody, appreciate it.

Lesson:

You can’t enjoy life if you are wishing you were someone else

 or focusing on a different time in your life.

Exercise:

Become aware when you are wishing you were in a different phase of your life. This train of thought devalues where you are right now in life. If you find yourself caught up in time travel thinking, bring your awareness back to the present. Begin to focus on gratitude and appreciation for where you are right now in life. 

Embrace Your Real Beauty

“A woman whose smile is open and whose expression is glad has a kind ofbeauty no matter what she wears.” ~Anne Roiphe

“In so much as love grows in you,so in you beauty grows.”

~St. Augustine

Beauty is a cultural agreement of what physical traits are most desirable. To evaluate yourself on external criteria that are beyond your control is to sentence yourself to a life of trying to mold yourself into an ideal of what is currently considered beautiful. This type of behavior reinforces low self-worth by repeating thoughts that you are not good enough the way you are. It drives people to have unnecessary cosmetic surgery and to develop hate for their own natural physical characteristics.

Real beauty comes in all shapes, ages, colors, cultures, and every other variety imaginable. There is nothing more attractive than self-confidence mixed with compassion, or a warm, authentic smile. Realize that beautiful isn’t an adjective but an action verb. It is an expression of being. Act beautiful by being loving and compassionate. Act beautiful by being an expression of joy to those around you. Be an example to others. Stop trying to mold yourself into the media’s idea of beauty and embrace your own beautiful traits as the uniqueness that is part of what makes you you. Real beauty comes from within.

Even those of us who have fended off the peer pressure of culturally conforming to current beauty standards can be surprisingly affected by loss of youth. You may feel less than you used to be because the years have etched a few lines on your face or you no longer have the body of a twenty-year-old. Real beauty comes from the charisma and radiance of self-confidence and inner joy. It never matters how old you are. Age is a number. The higher the number, the more you have experienced and the wiser you become. Don’t let growing older be a cause of distress. Let each year be a badge of honor you display gracefully. (And remember to stretch!)

Fluffy or thin, old or young, wrinkle free or etched to perfection, love yourself. You are perfectly beautiful just the way you are!

Lesson:

Realize that beautiful isn’t an adjective but an action verb. It is an expression of being.

Exercise:

Make a list of what makes you beautiful as a person. Start each sentence with “I am beautiful …”

Examples:

I am beautiful when I help others.

I am beautiful when I smile.

I am beautiful when I play with my dog.

I am beautiful when I embrace who I am with love.

Realize that beautiful isn’t an adjective but an action verb. It is an expression of being. Be real. Be beautiful.

See the Perfection in Imperfection

Do you need everything to be perfect before you can relax? Do you feel anxious if your life isn't planned out perfectly, if your day takes an unexpected shift, or if things don't go the way you expect? The desire for perfection can drive you to do extraordinary things, but an obsessive attitude can drive yourself crazy. If this is an issue for you, by bringing self-awareness to your perfection tendencies you will have the power to get those thoughts under control. Remember that moderation is the key to peace of mind. Learn to see the beauty in imperfection and you will be able to relax and enjoy life without trying to make it perfect.

Be With Nature

As I lay in the hammock in my backyard, a big yellow butterfly passes by, capturing my attention. I am immediately transported to a world of floral delight, fluttering from flower to flower. I feel the wind blow and begin losing myself in the movement of the leaves mixed with shadows in the tree above me. After a few minutes I gaze through an opening in the tree canopy and concentrate on the passing clouds, each animated shape becoming alive before it dissolves into the blue background. A mocking bird calls me back to Earth and then the melodic sound of the waterfall entrances me with its gentle rumble.

Take time to be with nature, time to be one with nature. The above backyard meditation is easy to do. Just sit quietly and observe your surroundings without commentary. Use your senses and explore the wonders of the natural world.

The ocean is my sanctuary,

Where I return like rivers and rain,

Reminding me of the greater whole,

from whence my soul once came.

No matter how far mankind has tried to distance himself from nature, the fact remains that humans are a part of nature. We live in a time where people have learned to spend most of their day disconnected from Mother nature. In the modern world, we spend time in a variety of boxes that separate us from our natural surroundings. There is the house where you live, perhaps spending half your day or more inside this domestic box. There may be the building where you work, and some of you even have a little office or a cubicle box. There are the mobile boxes such as cars, buses, and trains. We spend our time moving from one box to another, keeping ourselves as far away from nature as our money can buy.

Watching nature is viewed from television sets and computers. The art of sitting outside, relaxing, and just being with nature is becoming uncommon. The electronic age has taken over our minds, luring us to spend countless hours watching TV, connected to the Internet, and glued to our cell phones waiting for the next text message or tweet. Our minds are being hooked by audio visual electronic stimuli to the point where we have tuned out what we feel with our body and the smell and taste of our food because we aren't paying attention. We are forgetting the purpose of having a physical body is so that we can experience the world through our senses.

Not all of you are caught up in your boxes, but most unhappy people have this in common. If you are one of those people, get out of your box! By getting fresh air and sunshine you will give yourself a boost of happiness. Take a short walk, read outside, go for a hike, go fishing, camping, biking, or just sit quietly outside taking in the sights and sounds. You will begin to reconnect with the natural world. You'll begin to notice your habitat and surroundings. You'll become aware of and even stop to watch birds and butterflies. The more you can incorporate being outside in nature, the bigger the emotional reward will be.

Besides the relaxing benefits of reconnecting with nature, the human body benefits from sunlight itself. The amount of sunlight we receive affects our levels of vitamin D. Vitamin D is absorbed through exposure to sunlight. Studies have shown that low levels of vitamin D may cause some people to feel symptoms of depression. So sunshine can actually brighten your day emotionally! Take a few minutes every day to bask in the sunlight and renew your spirit

When we take time to connect with nature we recharge our spirits and relax our minds. Being outside encourages us to use our senses as they were meant to be used: experiencing our surroundings. We give ourselves the opportunity to feel the sunlight, rain, and wind. We can experience the sweet sound of bird songs and be a witness the miracle of flight. We can dig our toes in the sand at the beach, or smell the freshness of damp grass on a summer morning. Being with nature allows us to be present, which reduces stress and rejuvenates the soul. Increase your awareness of your surroundings and you may be surprised how much it enhances your life.

Lesson #26:

Being with nature encourages presence, which reduces stress and rejuvenates the soul.

Exercise:

Spend some time everyday outside. Incorporate outdoor activities as much as possible. Practice being with nature. Learn to hear the sounds, distinguish the scents, and appreciate the sights of the the natural world. If you find thoughts of the past or the future coming to mind, refocus on your surroundings. This exercise helps train your ability to focus and to be present while rejuvenating yourself at the same time.

Simple outdoor meditations:

• Sit quietly, close your eyes, and listen to as many distinct sounds you can sense.
• Watch the movement and pay attention to the shadows of the leaves in a tree.
• Close your eyes and see how many distinct scents you can sense.
• Sky watch. Gaze at the clouds or the stars.

Awaken Your Inner Child

When we were children we were free. We lived in the moment, focusing on just being a child. If you are in my generation or older, then you probably were never bored. This seems to be a new phenomenon among our youth in the last twenty years or so. No, when I was young I was never bored. I played outside, with or without toys, with or without friends. Whatever I was doing was all that mattered at the time.

As we get older we lose that feeling of freedom to be only in the moment. We become slaves to our wondering mind, often thinking about the past or the future, and not really living in the moment. We become absent in our own lives. The body breathes, walks, performs actions, but the mind is somewhere else. When we consciously bring our attention to the present moment, we become like little children again. We enjoy our life with more vigor. We begin to be present in our own life.

When you are free like a child you naturally express your innate creativity and wonder. Children use their imaginations, opening their world to endless possibilities. They are naturally inquisitive, creative, playful, and willing to explore their world. It's time to live like a child again. When you become present you will pay more attention to your surroundings. You will notice the flowers as you walk into the bank, you will notice the stars at night and maybe take time to watch the sunset. You will have more time to pursue creative activities and more time to play. How can you have more time? Remember how long summer vacations used to seem when you were young? The more present you are the slower time seems to flow. When you aren't stuck inside your head and are actually present, time seems to expand.

Practice being present and you will begin to awaken the little child inside of you. Everything will become more fun. Your inner child will want to play because children love to play. They enjoy being outside in nature, looking at clouds, even playing in the rain! Your inner child might want to try new things, play games, redecorate a room, or make the food on the dinner plate look pretty. Be present and you will feel an urge to express new wonder, playfulness, and creativity.

Lesson :

Reconnecting with your inner child makes life more fun and expands time.

Exercise:

Practice bringing child like awareness into something that you normally do without awareness. It could be as simple as taking a walk.. If you normally are caught up in thoughts while walking, switch your awareness to your surroundings. Take a new route. Make a game out of it. How many animals can you see along the way? How many distinct sounds are around you? Does one street smell different than another street? If you were blind folded would you be able to know which street you were on?

Or maybe awaken your inner child while making dinner. Instead of being caught up in thoughts about the past or future, pay attention to what you are doing. Make a new recipe, or use your creativity in presentation and table setting design. Practice feeling the textures of the different foods as you prepare them. Take a moment to smell them. Be present and the experience will be totally different than mindlessly making dinner while listening to TV.

Practice reconnecting with your inner child and life will be fuller and more fun.

Complaints Are Seeds of Misery

Life is a flower garden

your thoughts are the seeds.

You'll reap what you sow,

plant flowers not weeds.

Accept what is- 

allow life to flow!

Speak only delight

Where ever you go!

Speak no evil. When we speak ill, gossip, and pass judgment on others we only hurt ourselves. It demonstrates a lack of compassion, intolerance, and pettiness which diminishes our character.

"Be impeccable with your word."~ don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

When we cultivate acceptance, it will begin to strangle the weeds of discontent. When we can begin to accept that certain things in life are beyond our control, then we can understand the uselessness of complaining about them.   When we complain, we are planting seeds of misery in our minds, and spreading those seeds to other people.  Complaining will amplify your fixation on a negative circumstance.  If you can change what it is you are wishing were different, then have the courage to do it.  If you choose not to, then stop complaining.  If it's something beyond your control, then the complaining serves only one purpose- to aggravate yourself and others around you.  

Not only is complaining a waste of time and energy, it’s detrimental to peace of mind.  Whenever you complain, you are planting weeds instead of seeds.  You are reinforcing negative thinking with every complaint you utter.  Begin to notice how you feel irritated when you complain about things.  This irritation is the root cause of stress in your life. Stress is caused when the mind refuses to accept what is.  When we are constantly dwelling on things that are out of our control, we plant seeds of discontent and anger.   The events in our life do not create our stress, our thoughts about these events are the seeds of discontent.

Mom was right, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all."

Become aware of how your words affect your emotions and those who hear them. It's not just gossip that hurts, it's any complaint or negative comments about life in general. Become aware of the power of your words. Words can hurt or words can heal.

Lesson:

Complaining is a seed of discontent.

Exercise:

Begin to be aware of what you say.  Your words are a mirror of your mind.  See if you can notice how much you complain, and how others will complain about the littlest things.  Become aware of what type of conversations you have with people.  Are most of your conversations positive and uplifting or are they mostly complaining about people or life in general?  Begin to notice how you feel when you complain about things. How do you feel when others are complaining? All that is required is to become aware of how complaining is contributing to your level of stress. This is an awareness exercise. Raising your awareness is the first step to complaining less. Awareness is the key to getting your emotions under control. Don't judge yourself. Be grateful that you are becoming aware of how stress originates and that you have the power to begin living peacefully. The next few chapters will teach you how to begin focusing on the positive aspects of life.

Are You a Human BEing?

Be where you are.

                       Do what you are doing.

Experience life as it happens.

Practice being a human BEING, not a human THINKING. It is when we allow ourselves to BE in the moment that we capture the peace and joy of living.



Practice: Choose at least one activity that you normally do everyday.  It can be anything at all, eating, showering, drinking coffee, exercising, etc.  Whenever you do this activity be present as much as possible.  Start by bringing your attention to your body and senses.  What do you feel physically?  What do you see, smell, and hear?  At the same time be aware of your thoughts.  It’s natural to have thoughts.  The goal isn’t to eliminate them, but to let them pass by like trains in a train station.

Examples:

Walking:  Be aware of the physical sensations;  Feel your muscles contract as you walk. Feel the heat or cold on your skin. Feel the textures of your clothing.  Be aware of any sounds; listen to the sound of your own breath as it flows in and out.

Eating:  Take time to enjoy the taste and aroma of your food.  Savor each bite as if you never tasted it before.  Pay attention to the texture, the way your tongue moves as you chew.

Really focus on staying present.  When you find your mind drifting to other thoughts, gently pull yourself back into the moment. This exercise will demonstrate just how much you are caught up in your thoughts versus being present.

When we live inside our heads, thinking about being somewhere else, doing something else, or thinking about the past or the future, we are missing out on living. You will enjoy life more if you actually live it as it happens.

Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

Think Before You Speak

(image from visuallyinsightful.blogspot.com)

Watch how you talk about yourself.  When you repeat stories of being a victim, express self effacing comments, or other self limiting statements about your life, you are giving away your personal power and playing the roll of one who is unworthy and unhappy.  If you have nothing nice to say about yourself or your life, then it is better to say nothing at all.  Learn to express your inner light and self worth and you will be amazed at how your moods will be lifted.  Plus, you will be more fun to be around!
Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

The Cup is Already Broken

Shift to a higher awareness: The cup isn't half full, or half empty, it's already broken!

Instead of focusing on either side of the duality of life, become aware of the impermanence of life. All things, people, and relationships have a temporary and limited existence. Knowing this, embrace every moment of a relationship as sacred, and have appreciation for the string of ordinary moments that make up your life.

It is through appreciation and gratitude that life becomes a journey of joy! ♥

Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura barrette Shannon

Tell Me about Yourself

WHO would you be without your story? When you define yourself by your life story you are limiting yourself. You are more than your past, no matter how delightful, painful, exciting, or dramatic it has been, you are just a character in the story, not the story itself. It can be tempting, when people ask who you are, to start telling your life story. The next time someone asks you to share about yourself, tell them your dreams, your values, what sparks your passion. It's not who you were yesterday that matters, it's who you choose to be now and tomorrow.

Be Happy My Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

 

Can You Feel It?

CAN YOU FEEL IT?  The voice of intuition is that feeling you get out of nowhere, the urge to go do something out of the ordinary, and the inner guidance that helps us when we need it.  The voice speaks through the body- you will FEEL it. To understand its message, you must clear your mind and listen.  By listening to the still small voice of spirit, you'll be amazed at how life is enriched. You could probably be happy without connecting with spirit, but why would you want to miss out on experiencing the mysteries and wonder of life, and the inner compass to truly find direction to a life of purpose?  The next time you feel spirit calling, stop what you are doing, take a few deep breaths, and answer the call.
Be Happy Now, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

Two Men Go to the Park...

TWO MEN GO TO THE PARK: Mr. Happy notices the beautiful flowers, listens to the birds chirping, and enjoys feeling the sun on his face and the wind in his hair. Mr. Unhappy notices a few cigarette butts near a bench and starts complaining about how people are so inconsiderate. Then he starts complaining that the sun causes cancer, and the wind is messing up his hair.
They both were in the same place at the same time, but had two very different experiences. Happiness isn't caused by your external environment. It is the way you process the environment. You can either focus your attention on all the beauty, and what is pleasant, or you can focus your attention on everything that seems to be wrong with the world. The world is the same, it's the way you look at it that will make life either happy or miserable for yourself.
See Happiness, and Be happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

The Worried Woman

(photo from mrhpngo.com

There once was a woman who had two sons. The first son was a farmer and the second was a brick maker. During the rainy season, she lamented and cried because the brick maker couldn't make his bricks. During the dry season, she complained and worried that her son's crops would dry up and burn. Everyday she would be worried about one of her sons. One day a wise old monk came to town. The worried woman asked the wise monk how she can find peace and happiness when each day she is worried about one son or the other. The wise monk said, "On the days of rain, rejoice for your son's crops as his fields are being blessed with water to yield a plentiful harvest! On the days of sun, rejoice in the heat of the sun baking down on your son's bricks, allowing him to be more productive in his brick making business." From that day forward, the woman was happy everyday. (based on an old Buddhist tale)

What you focus on affects your level of happiness or misery. 

Choose Happiness my Friends-

Laura Barrette Shannon

What Do You See?

WHAT DO YOU SEE? The optical illusion above demonstrates that there is more than one way to look at things.  Our perceptions are filtered by our thoughts and attention.  The nature of your thoughts will affect the nature of your life. If you think about unfulfilled desires, drama, or the flaws in people, you will perceive more of the same. If you think about gratitude for what you have, peace in relationships, and the good in every person, then you will find that is exactly what life brings. Life is a mirror of your mind. You can't change what you see until you change how you're looking at it.  Take a close look at how you view life.  Do you like what you see?  If not, perhaps change the way you are looking at it, or change where you focus your attention.  You can't change the world, but you can change the way you see the world.
Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

Do You Do This?

A woman tending her garden sees a plane go by and dreams of travel, the traveling salesman on the plane sits next to an old man with thoughts of retirement, the retired old man is near a young family and yearns to be young again, the Mom is looking at the teenager in front of her and can't wait for her toddler to be self sufficient, the teen is looking out the window at the woman in her garden and wishes she could get married and have her own garden.
We often look away from where we are, either to the past, the future, or to what someone else has that we think we might enjoy, instead of being where we are in life. The grass isn't any greener anywhere else. Life is what YOU experience~ enjoy your own life.

Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

Are You Limiting Yourself?

 Our limitations all begin with what we believe. Believe you can't do something and you are never wrong. Question yourself when you find you have a limiting belief. Last night I realized I've been telling myself for years that I am a morning person, and as the day goes on I'm less mentally creative and therefore I never write at night. This belief limits my abilities, so I'm changing it. I now believe that I can get myself into a creative state of mind anytime of day. I'll begin practicing tonight and after a while it will be my new truth. All change starts with belief.
 Are you aware of any limiting beliefs that are holding you back from your full potential?
As you become aware of your various beliefs, ask yourself if they serve you or work against you.  Some beliefs work well for a time and then lose their usefulness, but because we never question them, we just keep acting on them.  For example, I used to believe that I couldn't sing well at all and that I couldn't ever learn to carry a tune.  So I never sang.  Then one day I decided to challenge the belief, to practice singing at home and then to sing karaoke to a crowd of people.  I did it.  I'm not afraid to sing in public now.  The old belief was limiting my self expression and served no purpose other than to back up my fear of singing in public.  
Take a careful look at why you avoid certain activities and you may discover that it is an old limiting belief that has been holding you back.  
Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

You Are the Narrator of Your Life

YOU are the narrator of your life. Begin watching how you talk about yourself. Your every word defines who you want the world to see, and reinforces how you think of yourself. If you keep the narration focused on unlimited potential for the future, lessons from past adversity, appreciation for the people who come and go, and gratitude for life itself, you will not only enjoy life more, you will be a joy to be around. Be a light in your own life, be your own best cheerleader, and watch your life be transformed! The choice in how you see and tell your story will affect your self image and how others see you. Don't play the victim in your life story and you won't feel like a victim. Today ask yourself, "What's my story?" If you don't like the story, then change it. Don't fabricate lies, just re-frame how you describe past events and who you are.  If you had past adversity or tragedy, begin to speak only of the lessons you have learned.  Don't focus on the pain, focus on how you used the experience to grow as a person, or how you learned more about yourself and life.  If you can't quite tell it in a positive fashion yet, then do not tell it at all!  You write your own story. Make it a happy one.

Watch how you talk about yourself and what you say about your life story. Story lines to AVOID are:
"I can't do that."

"I'm not good at____"

"I'm not good enough."

"I feel like victim of life circumstances."

“I feel like a victim of past events.”

"Life is difficult."

"I'll never be happy because____"

"I'll be happy when______."

You get the idea. Watch what you say about yourself and your life. Argue for your limitations and you will always be right. Tell stories of victimization and you play the part of victim. You are the narrator, the director, and can cast yourself as any part you wish in your life story.

Life is a story.  What's your story?

Be Happy, my Friends-

Laura Barrette Shannon

What Do You Say?

 "I have to do the dishes."

"I'm going to do the dishes and have fun doing them!"

‎"I HAVE TO ______" Do you have a habit of saying that you have to do something, such as "I have to do the dishes, go to work, make dinner, clean the house, give Grandma a ride, etc" When we phrase what we either need to do or choose to do with the wording "have to" it brings thoughts of wishing you were doing something else, which can lead to feelings of resentment or just not enjoying the time spent doing it. Watch how you use this phrase and learn to say, "I need to, I choose to, or I'm going to", which will keep your focus on free will. You are free to choose to enjoy what ever you do today! Do it with awareness and have a happy day! :)

Laura Barrette Shannon

What Do You See?

Look for the beauty and value in people.

What do you see when you interact with people.  Do some irritate you with various habits?  Do you admire some people for their positive qualities?  Do you feel comfortable around some people and uncomfortable around others? 
Learn to see the beauty and value of everyone. For some will teach you to develop characteristics that you admire in them, while others will teach you to soften the traits that you dislike, and a few will teach you that it is perfectly okay to be who you are because they are comfortable with themselves. Open your vision to see these values and you will honor every relationship.
Today, begin practicing seeing people as reflections of your own likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, enabling you to more fully understand who YOU are.  Every relationship is a gift of awareness.  Open the gift.


Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura barrette Shannon

Stop Waiting!

Are You a Clock Watcher?

Life has become so busy that many of us feel rushed and stressed throughout the day. Some of these feelings arise from the annoyance we cause ourselves by always waiting for the next activity. When you are in a mindset of "waiting", you are not present. If you are at a stop light, in a checkout line, or a Doctor's office you are in a traditional "waiting" situation. By switching your state of mind to being present, you can relax and enjoy these few minutes of non activity. In a busy day, these moments give us a much needed opportunity to take a break.

Many people have experienced the agitation of “waiting” while stopped at a red light. For some reason there seems to be a lack of acceptance when it comes to traffic. Logically, we know that red lights, detours, and accidents are a normal part of traffic. Yet, when faced with a couple of minutes at a red light, some people feel irritated. They spend these couple of minutes dwelling on how long the lights are, how many lights are on their route, how the car in front of them should have gone through the yellow light so that they could have sped through the light before it changed red. Sometimes they even start to verbalized derogatory names about other drivers. In these few minutes, instead of peace and relaxation, these drivers have worked themselves up into a fit of anger.

Its time to stop waiting and start relaxing. . Use this time to take a few deep breaths, feel your body, hear the music of life, and be aware of the details around you. When you bring your attention to your physical body and it's surrounding environment you are forcing your awareness outside of your head. This is an automatic tension reliever. Nothing can bother you when you are present in the moment.

When you are in a waiting situation, give yourself a break!

* Take a few deep breaths. Slowly inhale feeling the air expand your lungs. Then feel the tension leave your body with each exhale.

* Think an affirmation of gratitude for these few moments of tranquility that you are about to experience. “This is wonderful! I am so grateful for these few minutes of peace.”

* Bring your attention to your surroundings. Engage your senses and be aware of sights, sounds, and smells. Get out of your head and reconnect with the world.

Start actively relaxing in situations where you would normally find yourself waiting. It's time to reclaim these precious minutes of your day! Begin to experience the peace and serenity that you can enjoy in these same few minutes. This is one simple step to enjoying life.

Be happy, my Friends-
Laura barrette Shannon