You Are the Narrator of Your Life

“Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.” ~ Kahlil Gibran

Your story is what you tell yourself and others about your life. We do this all the time when we meet new people. The longer we know them, the more we fill in our life story with whole chapters and characters we have met. The key is to know that you are telling the story, so you have the power to change the viewpoint of the narration.

You are the narrator of your life. Begin watching how you talk about yourself. Your every word defines who you want the world to see and reinforces how you think of yourself. If you keep the narration focused on unlimited potential for the future, lessons from past adversity, appreciation for the people who come and go, and gratitude for life itself, you will not only enjoy life more, you will be a joy to be around. Be a light in your own life, be your own best cheerleader, and watch your life be transformed.

Is your story one of being a victim of circumstance, or is it one of triumph through adversity? Recognize that either version of the story is just a different perspective of the same past events. For example, I could tell my story from a negative point of view …

I became physically and mentally disabled in my late twenties and early thirties. I went through an emotionally crushing divorce in that same time period. My condition eventually required brain surgery when I was thirty-three. One month before the brain surgery, my eleven-year-old daughter was tragically killed in an accident because some jerk cut them off on the highway. My life has been destroyed by things out of my control. How can I ever be happy? I have to deal with disabling health issues every day, which further makes my life sad and depressing. Life sucks!

This is a Woe is me! type story of victimization.

Or I can tell my story with positive passion …

Many years ago, I went through some emotional and physical trauma. These events provided an atmosphere of deep introspection of life and were a catalyst for self-transformation. I learned that I can be happy no matter what my past was, my current life circumstances are, or whatever the future holds. I am grateful for my past, because it has given me the opportunity to grow into who I am today.

This is a Life is good! type story.

It is important to understand that both versions of the story are just different perspectives of the same past events. The past hasn’t changed; the way I look at it has changed. What I choose to emphasize has changed. This switch from a negative perspective into a positive one changed my life.

The choice in how you see and tell your story will affect your self-image and how others see you. Don’t play the victim in your life story, and you won’t feel like a victim.

Today ask yourself, “What’s my story?” If you don’t like the story, then change it. Don’t fabricate lies, just re-frame how you describe past events and who you are. If you had past adversity or tragedy, begin to speak only of the lessons you have learned. Don’t focus on the pain. Focus on how you used the experience to grow as a person or how you learned more about yourself and life. If you can’t quite tell it in a positive fashion yet, then do not tell it at all! You write your own story. Make it a happy one.

Lesson #12:

You are the narrator of your life story. Make it a happy one!

Exercises:

Take time to sit down and rewrite your life story. It may take many rewrites before you eliminate all of the negative narration that you have been accustomed to telling yourself and others. At least start with one happier, more positive version of your story. You will be able to rewrite it as often and as much as you desire. There are numerous ways to tell any story. Make yours a happy one, even if you don’t believe it yet. Until you rewrite your life story into a happy one, refrain from telling it.

Watch how you talk about yourself and what you say about your life story. Story lines to avoid are the following:

“I can’t do that.”

“I’m not good at ____”

“I’m not good enough.”

“I feel like a victim of life circumstances.”

“I feel like a victim of past events.”

“Life is difficult.”

“I’ll never be happy because ____.”

“I’ll be happy when ______.”

You get the idea. Watch what you say about yourself and your life. Argue for your limitations, and you will always be right. Tell stories of victimization, and you play the part of victim.

Begin to use story lines that cast you as the hero.

“I learned so much going through _________. I am truly grateful for the experience.”

“Going through the loss of __________ really taught me how I should never take things for granted.”

“I learned that I can grow stronger through adversity.”

“I am not afraid to follow my dreams, because I know that failure is just a step on the path and another notch in my belt of experience.”

“I know I can be happy no matter what happens in my life.”

“Life is good!”

“I chose not to see myself as a victim of past circumstances but a student of life. If I didn’t learn something, then that would be a real tragedy.”

You are the narrator and the director and can cast yourself as any part you wish in your life story.

Advanced Exercise:

Moving beyond Your Story

Who would you be without your story? When you define yourself by your life story, you are still limiting yourself. You are more than your past, no matter how delightful, painful, exciting, or dramatic it has been. You are just a character in the story, not the story itself. It can be tempting, when people ask who you are, to start telling your life story. The next time someone asks you to share about yourself, tell them your dreams, your values, and what sparks your passion. It’s not who you were yesterday that matters; it’s who you choose to be now and tomorrow.

Laura Barrette Shannon

author of Be Happy Now:  Simple Steps for Enjoying Life

Buy Book Now:   http://tinyurl.com/7nmfzpc 

Do You Victimize Yourself?

“What poison is to food, self pity is to life.”~ Oliver C. Wilson

“Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.” ~ Helen Keller

What does it mean to victimize yourself? And why would anyone in his or her right mind do such a thing? Unfortunately, people do it all the time and don’t even know they are doing it.

When you experience a negative event in your life, it can be very tempting to dwell on it in your thoughts or tell the story over and over days, months, and even many years later. Each time you do this, you are emotionally right back in the situation. Maybe it was someone who physically hurt you, a tragedy, or emotional pain from the past that you tend to revisit time and again. When you rehash old wounds by telling the story over and over, you reopen them, causing emotional pain. Humans are the only animals on earth that allow themselves to repetitively suffer over and over by the same event. By focusing on when you felt victimized, you are playing the role of the victim once again. This is emotional abuse that you inflict on yourself.

The first time you may be a victim, but the second time you are a volunteer. This is often said about physical abuse when referring to the people who return to harmful situations again and again. When we play the victim, by repeating stories of our perceived victimization we are reinforcing a victim attitude in ourselves. Being a victim will convince you that you are powerless, that life is beyond your control. This is not true. You are only a victim if you believe that you are. You cannot always choose what happens to you in life, but you can choose how to respond to life. Do not play a victim. Take your power back.

If you find yourself caught up in self-pity, immediately bring your awareness back to the present moment. Focus your attention on your physical sensations. Take a deep breath. Actively switch your attention away from thoughts of the past. If you have been in a habit of dwelling on past negative situations, you have not made peace with those situations or the people involved. Until you resolve the issues, they will continue to haunt you. The first step is to stop repetitively verbalizing your past pain to other people.

How do you make peace with your past? It all starts with intent. Begin with the intent that you can and will be able to live a happy life even though some things happened in the past that you wish did not happen. There are many processes for accepting the past and letting the emotions finally flow through you and leave. One of the best I’ve used is journaling. You can get it all out on paper. Write the things that you might never say to anyone else. Then burn it.

Another method is to tell it to God. Pray for peace of mind and the strength to let it go. Or tell it to your dog, cat, plant, or a candle. Get it all out one final time. Allow yourself to feel the emotions, cry, yell, jump up and down, and release the anger, pain, and sadness. Allow the emotions to fully emerge and to finally release themselves from your mind and body.

Then, let it go. Repeat it no more. If it comes across your mind, immediately switch your train of thought and don’t ride that train. Eventually the train will come by less and less, and eventually it won’t even pass by. By focusing less on the past pain, you will be taking its emotional fuel away. This will allow you to recover enough personal power to work on acceptance and forgiveness as time goes on.

Watch what you say about yourself. When you repeat stories of being a victim, express self-pity, or talk down about yourself, you are giving away your personal power and playing the role of the unworthy victim again and again. Remember lesson #12: You are the narrator of your life story.

Be aware of how you talk about yourself. Words can either be empowering or victimizing.

Exercise:

Become aware of how you feel when you repeat stories of victimization. Avoid retelling any story that makes you feel upset or weak. Also, avoid encouraging others to tell their stories of victimization. Avoid saying self-effacing comments, such as, “I’m not good enough, smart enough, or attractive enough.” Don’t victimize yourself!

If there are issues that are emotionally unresolved, please take whatever action is necessary to release the resentment and anger. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help, such as a counselor, a psychologist, group counseling, or spiritual guidance. It is time to resolve any issues that make you feel like a victim so you can move forward into a life of joy and peace.

Everyone Is a Teacher

A Grandfather and his young grandson pass a drunken homeless man, begging on the street. The Grandfather is not a wealthy man by any means, living off of his Social Security check. As they go by, Grandfather pulls out his wallet, takes out a ten dollar bill and hands it to the man, saying, "Thank you, my teacher. May God Bless you." As they walk away the Grandson is confused. "Grandpa, how can he be your teacher, he is much younger than you, and he is just some drunk homeless guy?" The Grandfather smiles and explains, "My child, teachers come in all ages and disguises. This man is my teacher today, for he has reminded me to be grateful for the prosperity in my life, to appreciate my daily meals and warm bed to sleep. He has taught me the dangers of self indulgence, given me an opportunity to express unconditional compassion, and an opportunity to share with someone who has less than I do. I only gave him ten dollars. He gave me a whole sermon of lessons!"

Learn to see everyone as a teacher. Some will teach you by offering admirable qualities. Others will show you traits that you may wish to soften in yourself. Some will teach you to be yourself, because of how authentic they are. Everyone can offer a lesson. Be grateful for every relationship. Each one is a holy encounter. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

1 Minute Story: Dream Your Destiny

A young girl asks, "Grandmother, I'm scared. How am I going to know how to to be an adult? How will I become wise like you, to teach my children and grandchildren. I'm afraid I'll never be able to learn everything I need to know, there is so much I don't understand."

Grandmother took her little hand in hers and led her to a small sapling apple tree, no taller than she. "Look at this tiny tree. Right now it is young, it doesn't provide much shade, and it's too young to produce fruit. What do you think will happen to the tree over the next twenty years?" The child replied, "It will grow into a big tree with lots of fruit." "Ah, my child, you are already gaining wisdom. You can see that its destiny is to grow into a mature tree. So it is the same for you. Your destiny is to gradually grow into the wise wonderful woman that you desire to be."

And so it is the same for our dreams. Never think that a dream is too big or too difficult to accomplish. Once you set your heart's desire and intend to follow a dream, you have set your destiny upon the path of fruition. Most dreams are accomplished gradually, one step at a time. The only fear you should have is giving up your dreams.
Dream big! Your dreams will guide your actions of today, and forge your destiny of tomorrow!

Be Happy, my Friends-

Laura Barrette Shannon

Tell Me about Yourself

WHO would you be without your story? When you define yourself by your life story you are limiting yourself. You are more than your past, no matter how delightful, painful, exciting, or dramatic it has been, you are just a character in the story, not the story itself. It can be tempting, when people ask who you are, to start telling your life story. The next time someone asks you to share about yourself, tell them your dreams, your values, what sparks your passion. It's not who you were yesterday that matters, it's who you choose to be now and tomorrow.

Be Happy My Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

 

The Worried Woman

(photo from mrhpngo.com

There once was a woman who had two sons. The first son was a farmer and the second was a brick maker. During the rainy season, she lamented and cried because the brick maker couldn't make his bricks. During the dry season, she complained and worried that her son's crops would dry up and burn. Everyday she would be worried about one of her sons. One day a wise old monk came to town. The worried woman asked the wise monk how she can find peace and happiness when each day she is worried about one son or the other. The wise monk said, "On the days of rain, rejoice for your son's crops as his fields are being blessed with water to yield a plentiful harvest! On the days of sun, rejoice in the heat of the sun baking down on your son's bricks, allowing him to be more productive in his brick making business." From that day forward, the woman was happy everyday. (based on an old Buddhist tale)

What you focus on affects your level of happiness or misery. 

Choose Happiness my Friends-

Laura Barrette Shannon

BE Desireless

DESIRE LESS, ALLOW MORE. When we come from a mindset of wants and desires it reinforces a "lacking" mentality. When we come from a mindset of being open and allowing, we are readying ourselves for action in alignment with our desires. It is a subtle difference of wording, but it makes a huge difference. For instance one could say, "I want to be in better physical shape." This statement is on...e of desire, but doesn't necessarily promote action. When reworded to say "I am allowing myself to live a healthier lifestyle and open to new physical activities.", the stage is set for action which will produce desired results. Another example: "I want to find a nice man to date." vs. "I am open to allowing a nice man to come into my life." That's it. Desire less, be open to allowing your dreams to manifest!
Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

Are You Limiting Yourself?

 Our limitations all begin with what we believe. Believe you can't do something and you are never wrong. Question yourself when you find you have a limiting belief. Last night I realized I've been telling myself for years that I am a morning person, and as the day goes on I'm less mentally creative and therefore I never write at night. This belief limits my abilities, so I'm changing it. I now believe that I can get myself into a creative state of mind anytime of day. I'll begin practicing tonight and after a while it will be my new truth. All change starts with belief.
 Are you aware of any limiting beliefs that are holding you back from your full potential?
As you become aware of your various beliefs, ask yourself if they serve you or work against you.  Some beliefs work well for a time and then lose their usefulness, but because we never question them, we just keep acting on them.  For example, I used to believe that I couldn't sing well at all and that I couldn't ever learn to carry a tune.  So I never sang.  Then one day I decided to challenge the belief, to practice singing at home and then to sing karaoke to a crowd of people.  I did it.  I'm not afraid to sing in public now.  The old belief was limiting my self expression and served no purpose other than to back up my fear of singing in public.  
Take a careful look at why you avoid certain activities and you may discover that it is an old limiting belief that has been holding you back.  
Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

You Are the Narrator of Your Life

YOU are the narrator of your life. Begin watching how you talk about yourself. Your every word defines who you want the world to see, and reinforces how you think of yourself. If you keep the narration focused on unlimited potential for the future, lessons from past adversity, appreciation for the people who come and go, and gratitude for life itself, you will not only enjoy life more, you will be a joy to be around. Be a light in your own life, be your own best cheerleader, and watch your life be transformed! The choice in how you see and tell your story will affect your self image and how others see you. Don't play the victim in your life story and you won't feel like a victim. Today ask yourself, "What's my story?" If you don't like the story, then change it. Don't fabricate lies, just re-frame how you describe past events and who you are.  If you had past adversity or tragedy, begin to speak only of the lessons you have learned.  Don't focus on the pain, focus on how you used the experience to grow as a person, or how you learned more about yourself and life.  If you can't quite tell it in a positive fashion yet, then do not tell it at all!  You write your own story. Make it a happy one.

Watch how you talk about yourself and what you say about your life story. Story lines to AVOID are:
"I can't do that."

"I'm not good at____"

"I'm not good enough."

"I feel like victim of life circumstances."

“I feel like a victim of past events.”

"Life is difficult."

"I'll never be happy because____"

"I'll be happy when______."

You get the idea. Watch what you say about yourself and your life. Argue for your limitations and you will always be right. Tell stories of victimization and you play the part of victim. You are the narrator, the director, and can cast yourself as any part you wish in your life story.

Life is a story.  What's your story?

Be Happy, my Friends-

Laura Barrette Shannon

The Mule in The Well

There once was an old mule who fell into an old dry well. He brayed and brayed until the farmer heard his cries. The farmer looked down at the old mule in the well and knew it would be impossible to try to lift him out. He thought about the situation and decided that since the mule and the well were old and useless, he should fill in the well, burying the mule to put him out of his misery. He started to shovel dirt into the well on top of the mule. Then, something surprising happened! As each pile of dirt came down on the mule, instead of being afraid and letting himself get buried, he would shake it off, and climb on top of it. Eventually, he was high enough to jump out of the well.

When life seems to throw dirt your way, trying to bury you or keep you down, shake it off and rise above it! This is when you realize that even what seems to be a problem or a tragedy can be used as a lesson to move you to a higher level of being.  In fact, it might just be what you need to push you out of the situation. 

Be like the old mule, some may think you are useless, weak and afraid, but that's not how you have to see yourself.   Like the mule, rise above what others think of you, shake off what ever dirt comes your way, and always look for the deeper meaning and lesson that can be learned from a situation or event.  In this way, you will elevate your awareness and understanding of life and yourself. 

Be Happy, my Friends-

Laura Barrette Shannon

What's Your Story?

Your story is what you tell yourself and others about your life. We do this all the time when we meet new people.  The longer we know them, the more we fill in the life story with whole chapters and characters we have met. The key is to know that you are telling the story, so you have the power to change the point of view of the narration.  
Is your story one of being a victim of circumstances, or is it one of triumph through adversity? Recognize that either version of the story is just a different perspective of the same past events. I could tell my story from a negative point of view:  My 11 year old daughter was tragically killed in an accident, and I have to deal with disabling health issues everyday, therefore my life is sad and depressing.  Woe is me...
Or I can tell my story with positive passion:  Many years ago I went through some emotional and physical trauma.  These events provided an atmosphere of deep introspection of life and were a catalyst for self transformation. I am grateful for my past, because it has given me the opportunity to grow into who I am today. Life is good!
Both versions of the story are describing the same past events.  The past hasn't changed, the way I look at it has changed.  This change in perspective changed my life.
 The choice in how you see and tell your story will affect your self image and how others see you. Don't play the victim in your life story and you won't feel like a victim.  Today ask yourself, "What's my story?"  If you don't like the story, then change it.  You write your own story!  Make it a happy one!


Many Blessings-


Laura Barrette Shannon