Reclaiming Self Esteem

HAVING self esteem stems from loving who you are. If you don't love yourself, your heart is not complete. Those without self love often search for someone else to fill the empty void within their heart. Because they are low in self esteem, they have lower standards of who they date and who they associate with as friends. Their lack of self worth drives them to be with people who support their lack of self respect, often getting involved with abusive individuals. If you are having trouble loving and respecting yourself, you must take action to be the kind of person who you will be happy to be.

Begin by writing down all the qualities that you admire in other people. Forget about the physical qualities, as they are not important in this exercise. Really search your soul to find what personality traits you would like to display to the world. Some qualities that raise self esteem are compassion, integrity, honesty, hard working, and responsible. Review your list, and then make an agreement with yourself that you will take action to be the kind of person you admire. Realize that the patterns of low self esteem have arisen because of you have given your personal power away by disrespecting who you are. You are worthy of your love and respect as much as anyone. Your unique qualities are what makes you special. Take total responsibility for how you interact with others, and how you respond to life situations. Begin to reclaim your personal power by taking control of how you respond to life. As you begin responding with more patience, integrity, and compassion you will begin to feel good about yourself. 

Remember, 

It does not matter who you were yesterday, 

only who you are from this moment forward. 

Laura Barrette Shannon

author of Be Happy Now book

Where Are You Going in 2012

"If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading." ~ Lao Tsu

As the new year approaches, I am reminded to be grateful for this wondrous opportunity ahead. They say, ”Life is for the living”. I would like to improve that concept and say, “Life is for lucid living”. Each year I reflectively review my life. I evaluate what is working, what needs changing, what needs eliminating, and things I haven’t experienced on my bucket list. Then, I start a personal vision statement for the coming year. This is basically an updated vision of my personal expression and dream of life. 

Starting my vision statement , I like to evaluate a number of different aspects of life and set the tone for the next year. These areas of life are: physical well being, emotional well being, spiritual practices, financial growth, relationships, creative endeavors, and life experiences. As I create my vision for the future I write everything down and use the magic words “I AM” at the beginning of each statement. By using I AM you are generating an energy of already being there, not the energy of wanting, or trying, but being that which you envision. This has worked well for me every time I use it.


 Examples: 


 I AM eating food that is good for my body and limiting my junk food intake.

I AM learning Tai Chi.

I Am experiencing a respectful and loving relationship with my spouse. 

The magic of "I AM" sets intent in motion and really sets the stage for experiencing the energy of the goal from a standpoint of it already being manifest. If you can hold this point of view with intense feelings of loving passion and joy you will have the key to creating your dream of life. Using the “I AM” along with continuing to passionately focus on my vision throughout the year ,(I put it where I will see it everyday and take a few moments to vision), leads to opportunities for manifestation. By focusing my attention on where I am going and what I will experience, doors of opportunity will suddenly appear and I will naturally plan and take steps toward these opportunities. 

I will also naturally make choices that are in alignment with my vision. For example, if my vision is better health, I will start eating better or joining a sport. If it is financial growth I will continually be open to opportunities and take appropriate action to reach the goal. If it is experiencing a stronger relationship with another person then I will schedule time to connect with this individual and work on unconditional acceptance of this person.

 For each vision you hold, there will be action steps to take throughout the year. Each step you take will align you with your vision more and more. Some visions will be easily manifested in few steps. Others will take many small steps and more time than one year. Either way, you are moving along in life with lucidity, not being pushed through life asleep and lost. So, I ask you, “Where are you going in 2012?” It is your choice.

Scheduling Life Outside Your Head

Let’s discuss the future. The future is not Now, yet on a practical level it deserves some consideration in the Now. It’s not necessary to dwell on tomorrow too much, but you do need to have some sort of clue as to what you are doing today, next week, and next year.

Planning for the future, scheduling small tasks, appointments, and goals is an important part of being a functional adult. Especially in today’s society, it has become necessary to organized and prioritize life at least to some extent. There’s nothing wrong with planning. Planning has its purpose.

Thinking about the future is part of being a human being. The problem for unhappy people is too much thinking about the future in negative ways. When you worry about what may happen later today, tomorrow, and next year you are focusing on all the “bad” things that may possibly occur. Most of the time these scenarios never play out. By worrying, unhappy people occupy their minds with negative thoughts which creates anxiety. They worry about every little thing, making themselves a nervous wreck.

Worrying about the future is just as unproductive as dwelling on the past. There’s nothing you can do about the past, it was as it was. In the same way, the future will unfold as it will, with or without your worrying.

That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t plan and be prepared for life. Be proactive, do what you can to anticipate life and drive yourself toward your dreams. But, let go of those thoughts that needlessly focus on undesired outcomes. When you worry, you are preoccupying your mind with thoughts that generate anxiety, which results in stress. If you find yourself worrying, gently bring yourself into the present. Evaluate the concern you were thinking about and decide if there is something that you can do to prevent the undesired outcome. If you can be proactive,do it! And then let the situation go. Don’t allow the worrying thoughts to take over your mind and hijack your emotions.

Since we live in a busy world, there is usually numerous activities that need to be scheduled in the near future. Set aside time to prioritize and schedule your life. It probably won’t take more than 15 minutes of your day. You can use this time to do all the thinking and planning for the day. Once this is accomplished it will be easier to push the worrying aside.

Many people find it helpful to address their agenda for the following day before they go to bed. If you have a clear picture of what your schedule will be tomorrow, you will sleep better. There will be no reason to lie awake worrying or even just thinking about all the tasks that need to get done. Do not attempt to keep your entire life scheduled in your head. Use a calender, appointment book, or a PDA. Once you write it down you will be able to let the thoughts go. There will be no reason to think about it any more. The important tasks will be scheduled and you will think about them when the time comes.

Lesson:

Too much time spent on thinking about the future will result in needless worrying. Schedule your life outside of your head.

Exercise:

It’s time to stop worrying and over thinking about everything you need to do. This week start using an appointment book or other form of agenda. Take a few minutes before bed to look over the next day so you know what the plans are when you wake up. Then have a restful night.

If you catch yourself worrying, gently bring yourself back to the present moment. Take a deep breath. Evaluate the worry. Is it something you can take action to prevent? If so, then do it. If not, then it's time to let the thoughts flow through and out of your mind. Keep your attention on the Now. Enjoy your time without worry.

Is Your Life Balanced?

BALANCE- Be aware of the importance of balance. Too much or too little time spent working , being alone, playing video games, TV, web surfing, time spent on relationships, self improvement, health, finances, etc will throw the rest of life off balance. Evaluate your life. Is something way off balance compared to the rest of your activities? See if you can bring more balance to your schedule and you'll be amazed at how much more you will accomplish, and how much better you'll feel.
Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

Bring Back the Family Dinner

One simple step to enjoying life is getting together with other people to share a delicious meal. This used to be the norm in most households. Families would eat together at dinnertime, sharing experiences of their day, elders passing down stories and wisdom to the younger generation. When I was growing up, we ate breakfast and dinner together on most days. When I had children of my own, I made it a point to have most dinners together as a family.  The TV was off, and the conversations were on!  

Family gatherings, which are the birthday parties, big Sunday dinners, holiday feasts, and such are also a dying art of human socializing. My husband's family of 11 children used to have a Sunday dinner at the Grandma's house every week. Of course this is back when people would actually take one day off a week to be with their family and friends, connect with God, and spend time in nature. Our culture is becoming so over complicated that people are forgetting how to just relax and be with each other without outside distractions and entertainment.

 If we make it a priority, we can bring back the family dinner. It takes a bit more scheduling, but people always make time for what they really want to do in life. I think this is one of those things worth making an effort to do on a regular basis.  Make a habit of sharing at least one meal a day with family or friends. It builds stronger bonds and makes a lifetime of memories. 

Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

Do You Have the Time?

Art outside the Salvador Dali Museum, St Petersburg, FL

DO you have the time? Time is a strange concept. It seems like most people live their lives according to some sort of time schedule, usually attempting to squeeze in more time than there is. They say things like, "I don't have time." or "I wish there was more time." The problem isn't the amount of time in a day. Everyone has the same amount of time. The problem arises when people either agree to do too much because they have taken on more than they can handle, or they don't schedule enough, not making the time for what is important to them. 
Today, evaluate what is important to you and make sure that it is a priority on your schedule. Then, give yourself permission to let go of those activities that are of lesser importance to make room for what is. Enjoy your time doing the things you choose to do.
Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

What Is Important to You?

The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.  ~Stephen Covey~

Take a look at your life. Is it over scheduled with activities to the point where you feel that you don't have time for self improvement, creative endeavors, or quality time with loved ones? If you make a list of the top five priorities in your life, do you make time to attend to them? Decide what is important, schedule it, and then schedule the rest. You will be surprised at how much your life will be enhanced when you focus on what is important to you. ?


My top priorities are:
1.  Peace of mind
2.  Relationships
3.  My dogs
4.  Health
5.  Creative endeavors- writing


Because these things are a priority to me, I make time for them.  It is easy to get so caught up in the multitude of activities that are vying for our attention that we neglect what is important to us.  Evaluate your schedule, and ask yourself, "What is important to me?"


Enjoy your journey~


Laura Barrette Shannon