You Have Everything You Need

“Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts

 and happenings.  It consists mainly of the storm of thought

 that is forever flowing through one’s head.” 

~ Mark Twain

Is happiness something that you believe will come attached to some future event or special person? Are you postponing happiness until you have the ideal job, live in your dream home, find the perfect mate, retire, or have some other future situation? If you find yourself caught up in these thoughts, you will always be waiting for happiness to arrive, which never will, because those types of events will bring only temporary fulfillment. 

Don’t fall into the trap of delayed happiness! By repeating these types of thoughts, you convince yourself that some outside circumstance or future event will bring happiness. This is one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves. Be happy now, because that’s really all we ever experience—the present moment. The root of happiness is not connected to the circumstances in your life. 

Benjamin Franklin described it like this: “Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances.” If you’re not happy now, then you won’t be happy no matter what happens in the future unless you change yourself. You hold the key to your own happiness.

The only constant in life is change. Instinctively we know this, so it is only natural to dream of a future aligned with our deepest desires. There will be hopes and dreams along your journey, each one eagerly anticipated as you walk through life. Focusing on these dreams and goals is a healthier mind-set than focusing on the past, yet do not forget to also stay present as much as possible. Enjoy today. These are the good old times that you will talk about someday. Life is what’s happening while you’re waiting for the future. Experience the journey with joy and awareness, because in the end most destinations are just stepping-stones to bigger dreams.

Not only are life situations not connected to happiness, but neither are people. Other people can’t make you happy anymore than we can make other people happy. Happiness is not something that can be given to someone. Happiness is something that we can only give to ourselves.

Many people have fallen into the habit of trying to fill the emptiness, loneliness, and sadness they feel in their lives by thinking they can buy happiness. They become mindless shoppers filling the boredom of their existence with new gadgets, toys, clothes, pocketbooks, shoes, jewelry, or any other thing that fancies them at the time. They look to the excitement of attaining new things to drown the pain of unhappiness in an attempt to bring passion back into their lives. And it seems to actually work, temporarily. The high of the new purchase soon subsides, and the hollowness that they feel inside still remains, so they begin looking for the next new thing to distract them from the real issue. But in reality all they need to do is to activate the happiness within themselves that has been suppressed.

Lesson: 

You hold the key to your happiness,

 not special people, new things, 

or ideal life circumstances.

Exercise: 

Is there something that you’ve been waiting for before you will allow yourself to be happy? Contemplate what those thoughts do to you. Thoughts like that convince yourself that you can’t be happy until something happens. Begin to believe that you can be happy regardless of what the future holds. Begin to believe that you have the power be happy now. Begin to believe that you hold the key to your own happiness.

This exercise is meant to raise the awareness of your beliefs about what causes happiness. Once you can see that some of your beliefs may be based on false criteria, you will begin to believe that you have everything you need to be happy.

Laura Barrette Shannon

author of Be Happy Now book

Surround Yourself with Serenity

A simple Zen garden is great for a few minutes of meditation

Is your home or work desk a mess? Feeling that your living environment isn’t quite as organized as you would like it to be is a personal call. Everyone has his or her own comfort level of tidiness. If your environment isn’t aligned with your level of expectation, it can make you feel uncomfortable, scattered, and stressed. 

Our living spaces are reflections of ourselves. When the mind is scattered, it flows out into the environment, manifesting as disorganization. 

Everyone has his own level of comfort when dealing with how he keeps his environment. Some are perfectionists—one item out of place or one dirty dish will start the mind chatter. Others are more relaxed with how much clutter can accumulate before it bothers them. If it begins to bother you with mental chatter—“This is a mess. I really need to clean this. I hope no one comes over and see this mess”—then it’s time to take action. If it is bothering you, then start to reorganize and freshen it up. 

As your living environment begins to be more organized, your mind will feel more relaxed. If you can purge unnecessary items or too many objects you have been holding onto that represent memories from the past, you will feel a surge of freedom. When we hang onto objects, we invest some of our metal energy in emotional attachment. Whenever you can release these types of items, it is an act of healing and personal freedom. 

Lesson: 

Your living environment is a reflection of your state of mind.

 A soothing environment aids in calming your mind. 

Exercise: 

To regain comfort and peace in your living spaces, choose one small area where you spend a lot of time, and freshen it up by cleaning and organizing it. Reduce clutter and add peaceful items, such as fresh flowers, a water fountain, candles, pictures of loved ones, or anything else that soothes you. A zen sand and rock garden can do wonders for a few brief minutes of meditation.  I have a salt rock lamp that I keep on my desk. I also enjoy lighting incense , candles, and listening to relaxing music. Try different methods to activate your senses of sight, smell, and sound. 

Start small. Even one clean and calm area will make a difference in how you feel. Start with where ever you spend the most time. As you feel the resulting peace of mind and calmness, you will be encouraged to continue cleaning another day. Be patient with yourself as you move into a more peaceful environment.

A Full Moon Ceremony

In honor of the super full moon tonight I am sharing a simple ceremony that we do at my house every month.

What is the purpose of spiritual ceremonies and prayers? Are they just meaningless gestures and words, repeated without thought? Do they serve a purpose for those who have left behind the traditional organized religions in favor of a more spiritual one -on -one relationship with God or the Universal Life Energy?

In order to understand the importance that rituals, ceremonies, and prayers play in our spiritual growth it is important to understand the benefits of practicing them in the proper way. If you are not practicing them with emotional energy then they are just words and movements. So a simple background in energy is necessary first:

The Universe is made up of energy. Every physical thing is energy, condensed and formed into everything we see in this world. Beyond what our limited human senses can perceive, the energy of the Universe permeates and interconnects everything. Whenever you feel an emotion it is emitted out as energy from you. This emotional energy forms connections to other energy beings (humans, animals, etc) Think of them as strings. The more emotions you have for someone, the more energetic strings of attachment you have connecting you to each other.

The Universal Life Energy, or all the energy of this Universe combined is what most people call God. The bigger the energy system, the more consciousness it has. God is made up of everything, so it is the Alpha and Omega, omnipotent, and omnipresent~ the beginning and the end, knowing all things and everywhere at the same time.

Now, let's go back to the importance of ceremonies and prayers. Basically, ritualistic words and actions help us to focus on our intent and to elicit an emotional response in alignment with our intent. Intent without emotion is powerless. Prayers without emotion are just words, and ceremonies without emotion are just gestures. The feelings behind the rituals are what drives the results. Think of the prayers as vehicles and emotions as gas. The vehicle has the potential to get you where you want to go, your intent is the destination, but without gas it is just a plan that never gets put into action.

The proper use of ceremonies, then, is to help us to engage our attention and focus on our intent, and to aid us in evoking the emotional energy to drive the intent to fruition. I have found that designing my own prayers and rituals has brought them more personal meaning and enabled me to really get into the mood. The following is a full moon ceremony that I perform with friends every month. Feel free to customize it as you make it your own.

Full Moon Ceremony

RELEASE: The first part is lighting a small outdoor fire at sunset. This ritual involves releasing anything that no longer serves you, emotionally or physically. Some examples would be releasing resentments, anger, emotional pain, unhealthy habits, etc. Each person holds a stick and concentrates on what they wish to release, imagining all the negative emotions and actions going into the stick. Then the sticks are thrown into the fire. As the stick burns, each person brings up as much feeling as possible evoking the emotional release of whatever was ailing them. The feeling of being free of this negative emotion is what is required. It is an act of letting go of the pain and filling the hole with the loving energy of wholeness.

RESPECTS: Then we take time to pay our respects those who have passed, honor the Universal Energy Force for feeling our prayers, and sending white light loving energy out into those we love and then extend out into the world. You can use a prayer something like this:

Oh God, we thank you, and feel gratitude in our hearts for this opportunity to experience this life. (Silent moments of intense loving emotion sent to God)
So let it be...
We send our loving thoughts and loving energy to those who have passed from our lives, and our gratitude for our time spent with them. (Silent moments of intense loving emotion sent to them)
So let it be...
Tonight, specifically, I would like to concentrate and send love to ______. I honor their past presence in my life and am grateful for the experience. (Silent moments of intense loving emotion toward this person.)
So let it be....
Let our loving energy extend out into the world. (Silent moments of intense loving emotion sent to the world.)

REFLECTIONS: Then we take a few minutes to watch the full moon and reflect on our past or present, to find life lessons, and to come to a feeling of gratitude for all that we have experienced. It is advisable to be very specific in this exercise, as trying to reflect on too much may dull the intensity of the emotion.

Suggestions to contemplate:

• your childhood relationship with your Mother, Father, or a sibling.
• Your relationship with an ex-love
• your current relationship with one specific person.
• How a specific event affected you and the lessons you can now see because you experienced it
• A current situation of concern- forming an intent of a loving outcome for all.

REAFFIRMING INTENT: Then we each light an incense stick, while silently repeating our intent for the future. Again it is advisable to work on a specific intent to evoke the intensity of emotion. Think of the end result of your intent. Imagine you are living there now, and how it feels to be living this past dream. Imagine it like you remembering it as strong as a vivid memory. Feel the emotion of your creation as long as possible. As the smoke rises from the incense stick, let it be a representation of your emotional intent rising up to fruition. So let it be...

GRATITUDE: Simple prayer: God we are grateful for Life, Love, and this opportunity to come together as a group and commune with Universal Life and each other. (A few moments of intense feeling and silence) Amen

Then we have group discussion and enjoy each others company.

Be happy, my friends-

Laura Barrette Shannon

author of Be Happy Now: Simple Steps for Enjoying Life

Life's Practical Jokes :-)

Being caught without an umbrella in an unexpected rain, 

dropping ketchup on your shirt,

children dragging mud in on the freshly washed floor,

spilling coffee in your new car,

getting splashed with mud by a passing bus...

Sometimes life sends us these reminders to lighten-up, not take ourselves so seriously, to learn to laugh instead of being upset. Think of it as a friendly reminder to shake your head and just smile. 

Learning to laugh at the little ironies that pop up from time to time is a valuable coping mechanism.  It transmutes irritation into comical relief.  You will automatically feel better about the situation as you realize that these small inconveniences are really not that important anyway.  They bring the variety of surprise to a life of over expectation.  Not everything will always go the way you plan.  It is these tiny bits of practical jokes that Life will play on us that  reminds us not to sweat the small stuff.  It puts things back into perspective:    The objects we place emotional value in are just things.  Our physical appearance is not who we are, and a clean house will always need cleaning again.  Practice finding the humor in life's tiny inconveniences and minuscule tragedies.  The next time something unexpected and slightly irritating comes your way, take one long deep breath and then just shake your head and laugh.  Be grateful for the friendly reminder to lighten up your day, and enjoy telling the story with humor to make others laugh too!

Be happy, my friends-

Laura Barrette Shannon

author of Be Happy Now: Simple Steps for Enjoying Life

Do You Always Have to Be Right?

“Confidence is not being afraid to share your opinions; Wisdom is not being attached to them.”

~ LB Shannon

It is easy to get caught up in sharing your point of view with others. It’s a natural mode of communication. I share what I think about a subject and you share your thoughts about the subject. This type of communication goes on all day long. While it can be quite pleasant to talk to someone who shares your view, it can be frustrating to talk to someone with an opposing view.

More often than not, unhappy people will hold on to their opinions to the point of arguing. They would rather be right than let it go. They have convinced themselves that if they can’t get others to agree with them, they feel that their point of view is being threatened.

Agreement from other people is not necessary. Believe what you like, and let others do the same. Overly opinionated people haven’t learned that when others have an opinion that may be different from theirs, it is the other person’s right. They also haven’t learned that it is perfectly normal for other people to have varying opinions about many aspects of life. This type of closed-minded approach to communication can result in pompous thoughts of being smarter than the other person: “Obviously they are wrong and are too stupid to see it.” These thoughts of judgment, the aggravation, the bitterness that can arise from these confrontations is all because they had to show everyone that they were right. It was more important to be right than to be happy.

So how can we interact with others who have conflicting points of view from our own without conflict arising? It starts with being flexible with our own beliefs. Listen to their opinions. Ask questions like “Why do you think that is?” or “Where did you learn that?” The second key to interacting with opposing viewpoints is to understand that it is not always necessary to share your opposing thoughts. It isn’t your job to teach everyone around you to see things like you do. It’s okay to allow them to think differently than you do.

The most noticeable instances in my life concerning differing opinions are always politics. I’ve reached a point where I no longer put my two cents in these conversations. People are entitled to see the world from varying points of view, as each of us is unique in our perspective and life experiences. By not attempting to invalidate other’s opinions, I maintain peace of mind among some very opinionated people. Sometimes I even listen and ask questions so that I can begin to understand why they see the world the way they do.

Example #1:

Joe: “I think the moon is a spaceship for Martians.”

Mark: “That’s an interesting point of view! What makes you think that?”

Joe: “My grandfather told me when I was young.”

Mark: “Your grandfather sounds like an interesting guy. What else did he teach you?”

In this example, Joe shared an unpopular point of view about the moon. Instead of attempting to dispel Joe’s belief, or belittle him for his belief, Mark chose not to challenge the point of view that the moon is a spaceship. Mark asked for more information about Joe’s belief, which showed interest and also revealed the root of Joe’s odd belief. When Mark heard that Joe’s grandfather told him that the moon was a spaceship, he steered the conversation toward the grandfather. This technique of redirecting conversations is a useful tool for avoiding heated discussions when you come across a potential conflict of opinion.

Example #2:

Jane: “I can’t believe you are still married to John after he cheated on you again!”

Mary: “It’s understandable why you would feel that way. So how’s the new job going?”

In this example, Jane shared her unsolicited opinion about Mary’s marriage. Mary, in an attempt to avoid the subject, validated Jane’s right to her opinion but neither agreed nor disagreed. Instead, she changed the subject. Mary knew that it wasn’t necessary for her to defend her personal choices. She let Jane’s comment go, not choosing to start a debate on the subject of marriage and infidelity.

It’s not necessary to validate your actions and viewpoints to others. Be confident in your life choices and beliefs, but be willing to hear different points of view.

Lesson :

It is unnecessary to defend your point of view. Allow others the right to have their own opinions.

Exercises:

Ponder these questions. Be honest with yourself.

• Do you take yourself so serious that when you meet people with a difference of opinion you feel the need to set them straight?
• Do you feel irritated or even threatened by listening to opposing points of view?
• Is it your job to teach everyone to think like you do?  

The next time someone shares an opinion or suggests an idea that is different from your own, see if you can resist the urge to share your point of view or push your own agenda. This exercise can be as simple as not being a backseat driver when someone else is driving or as challenging as listening to someone with a completely different political viewpoint.

Be aware of how it feels to rein in your ego. The uneasiness you feel is your ego fighting for control. As you practice ego awareness, it will become easier to recognize the ego’s controlling manipulations and easier to ignore it. When you can come to a point of humility, not always having to prove your opinions and allowing others to have alternate views, it brings more peace to relationships and to your own mind.

Practice being an observer or a listener without getting into debates. Make an effort to hold your tongue without putting in your two-cents point of view, even if you think they are totally wrong. This is a valuable skill that will provide much less drama in your life.

Going with the Flow

“Cling not to the withered flowers of life. Keep only the memory of their beauty in their prime." ~ LB Shannon

Learning to flow with life is an important aspect to being happy.

Each of us must learn to let go of anything, any habit, or anyone that no longer is in alignment with our innermost sense of being. Some things, situations, or people are purposeful for a time and then the cycle comes to an end. Just because it ends does not negate the meaning of what it was in its time, just as a beautiful annual flower will fade, yet the memory of the beauty is what remains. And yet, even in death, flowers leave seeds for new growth. Such is the rhythm of life. People come and people go. This moment is here, and then it is gone.

We live in a dynamic universe where nothing ever stays the same. Life is never static; it’s continually flowing with ups and downs like the ocean tides. When we fight the nature of these tides, we cause undue stress within our minds. Enjoy living in the present as it is, but don’t get too attached to it, because life will be different soon enough. By riding on top of the waves instead of being swept up in the middle of them, we have the ability to steer ourselves along the wave. Learn to flow with the waves of life by riding the extremes with awareness and acceptance, or those waves will knock you down for sure.

Besides the tides of life, there is always an overall current that pushes you along. Learn to flow with life like water in a river. When rocks appear, effortlessly flow around the obstacles without even slowing down. The only dams you will encounter are the ones you build yourself: attempting to move against the current (trying to move backwards), getting stuck in a whirlpool (repeating the same mistakes over and over), or attempting to run off course (moving away from your authentic self). These movements are unnatural and filled with resistance. If you feel like your natural flow is off track, ask yourself if you are causing this resistance by choosing not to flow with life.

Remember to flow with the unexpected and enjoy the journey. After all, detours in life are the seeds of good stories!

Lesson:

Flow with life’s tides and currents.

Exercise:

Practice flowing with the unexpected. Embrace life’s detours. Detours aren’t running off course. They are following the natural path of life, winding in unforeseen directions but still going with the flow. We can’t always see every turn coming up, but we can enjoy the journey as life takes us through a different territory.

If you are someone who feels the tides of life as they rise high and fall low, be aware that they never stay high or low. It’s just a matter of riding the tide with awareness. Don’t let the low tides draw you down with them.

When you feel caught up in a low tide of your life, repeat this affirmation: “Today I release the withered flowers of my past, looking back on only their beauty and perfection, allowing me to focus on the seeds of new growth.”

Stay aware and be patient, and your high tide will soon come.

Laura Barrette Shannon

author of Be Happy Now:  Simple Steps for Enjoying Life

buy book here: http://www.amazon.com/Be-Happy-Now-Simple-Enjoying/dp/1452548005/ref=tmm_pap_title_0

You Are the Narrator of Your Life

“Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.” ~ Kahlil Gibran

Your story is what you tell yourself and others about your life. We do this all the time when we meet new people. The longer we know them, the more we fill in our life story with whole chapters and characters we have met. The key is to know that you are telling the story, so you have the power to change the viewpoint of the narration.

You are the narrator of your life. Begin watching how you talk about yourself. Your every word defines who you want the world to see and reinforces how you think of yourself. If you keep the narration focused on unlimited potential for the future, lessons from past adversity, appreciation for the people who come and go, and gratitude for life itself, you will not only enjoy life more, you will be a joy to be around. Be a light in your own life, be your own best cheerleader, and watch your life be transformed.

Is your story one of being a victim of circumstance, or is it one of triumph through adversity? Recognize that either version of the story is just a different perspective of the same past events. For example, I could tell my story from a negative point of view …

I became physically and mentally disabled in my late twenties and early thirties. I went through an emotionally crushing divorce in that same time period. My condition eventually required brain surgery when I was thirty-three. One month before the brain surgery, my eleven-year-old daughter was tragically killed in an accident because some jerk cut them off on the highway. My life has been destroyed by things out of my control. How can I ever be happy? I have to deal with disabling health issues every day, which further makes my life sad and depressing. Life sucks!

This is a Woe is me! type story of victimization.

Or I can tell my story with positive passion …

Many years ago, I went through some emotional and physical trauma. These events provided an atmosphere of deep introspection of life and were a catalyst for self-transformation. I learned that I can be happy no matter what my past was, my current life circumstances are, or whatever the future holds. I am grateful for my past, because it has given me the opportunity to grow into who I am today.

This is a Life is good! type story.

It is important to understand that both versions of the story are just different perspectives of the same past events. The past hasn’t changed; the way I look at it has changed. What I choose to emphasize has changed. This switch from a negative perspective into a positive one changed my life.

The choice in how you see and tell your story will affect your self-image and how others see you. Don’t play the victim in your life story, and you won’t feel like a victim.

Today ask yourself, “What’s my story?” If you don’t like the story, then change it. Don’t fabricate lies, just re-frame how you describe past events and who you are. If you had past adversity or tragedy, begin to speak only of the lessons you have learned. Don’t focus on the pain. Focus on how you used the experience to grow as a person or how you learned more about yourself and life. If you can’t quite tell it in a positive fashion yet, then do not tell it at all! You write your own story. Make it a happy one.

Lesson #12:

You are the narrator of your life story. Make it a happy one!

Exercises:

Take time to sit down and rewrite your life story. It may take many rewrites before you eliminate all of the negative narration that you have been accustomed to telling yourself and others. At least start with one happier, more positive version of your story. You will be able to rewrite it as often and as much as you desire. There are numerous ways to tell any story. Make yours a happy one, even if you don’t believe it yet. Until you rewrite your life story into a happy one, refrain from telling it.

Watch how you talk about yourself and what you say about your life story. Story lines to avoid are the following:

“I can’t do that.”

“I’m not good at ____”

“I’m not good enough.”

“I feel like a victim of life circumstances.”

“I feel like a victim of past events.”

“Life is difficult.”

“I’ll never be happy because ____.”

“I’ll be happy when ______.”

You get the idea. Watch what you say about yourself and your life. Argue for your limitations, and you will always be right. Tell stories of victimization, and you play the part of victim.

Begin to use story lines that cast you as the hero.

“I learned so much going through _________. I am truly grateful for the experience.”

“Going through the loss of __________ really taught me how I should never take things for granted.”

“I learned that I can grow stronger through adversity.”

“I am not afraid to follow my dreams, because I know that failure is just a step on the path and another notch in my belt of experience.”

“I know I can be happy no matter what happens in my life.”

“Life is good!”

“I chose not to see myself as a victim of past circumstances but a student of life. If I didn’t learn something, then that would be a real tragedy.”

You are the narrator and the director and can cast yourself as any part you wish in your life story.

Advanced Exercise:

Moving beyond Your Story

Who would you be without your story? When you define yourself by your life story, you are still limiting yourself. You are more than your past, no matter how delightful, painful, exciting, or dramatic it has been. You are just a character in the story, not the story itself. It can be tempting, when people ask who you are, to start telling your life story. The next time someone asks you to share about yourself, tell them your dreams, your values, and what sparks your passion. It’s not who you were yesterday that matters; it’s who you choose to be now and tomorrow.

Laura Barrette Shannon

author of Be Happy Now:  Simple Steps for Enjoying Life

Buy Book Now:   http://tinyurl.com/7nmfzpc 

Respect Yourself- Set Boundaries

“People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person, or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die.” ~ Plato

Do you have trouble setting boundaries? In any relationship (whether it is with family, spouse, or friends), it is our responsibility to set the boundaries of how we allow others to treat us. It is not their fault if we allow them to use us, verbally abuse us, or take without ever giving back. Loving people does not mean you need to let them use you or hurt you emotionally or physically. If there are people in your life that you feel are treating you with disrespect or using you, you need to reset the boundaries. Learn to say, “No.” People only treat us as bad as we allow.

You can love someone without letting him or her in the inner circle of your life. The inner circle should be reserved for those who love and support you. Your presence and companionship are gifts. You are the one who decides who to give them to. You can’t change people, but you can change how you interact with them.

Lesson:

It is your responsibility to set the boundaries of how you allow other people to treat you.

Exercise:

Do you feel like someone is using you? Evaluate the situation to see if you have been allowing this behavior. Do you need to establish boundaries or reset current boundaries? Realize that if you have agreed to certain behavior, then no one is using you. Your time and attention are yours to decide who you give them to. You are not being used unless you have agreed to be used.

Work on establishing boundaries within your relationships. Remember, people only treat us as bad as we allow them to treat us.


~~~~~
By now you may have heard, the book, Be Happy Now:  Simple Steps for Enjoying Life is now available to buy on your kindle:


http://www.amazon.com/Be-Happy-Now-Enjoying-ebook/dp/B007S0B1N0/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2

A Buddhist Good Friday

Whether you are a Christian, some other faith, or even an atheist, you can use the spirit of Good Friday, one of the holiest Christian holidays, as a springboard to spiritual and/or personal transformation.  Good Friday is the day Jesus died on the cross.  At the heart of the event, it symbolizes an end of suffering which precipitates an extraordinary rise of a new beginning of life.

 Every year on Good Friday I take a hard look at myself. I take a personal inventory of any suffering that I need to release.  Some of the ways people suffer are:

*  Emotional pain that you are clinging to

*  Feelings of resentment 

*  Habits that are self destructive

*  Patterns of behavior that are not in alignment with who you are

*  Focusing too much on physical ailments

By taking a hard look at myself, I can bring awareness to the variety of ways I cause my own suffering.  With awareness, I can then let the emotions flow, and then I let them go, releasing the suffering in my heart. The Christian faith is founded upon the principle that Jesus died to release mankind of their "original" sin so that they may enjoy eternal life.  If you are plagued with internal guilt, resentment, or self destructive behavior you will suffer at your own hands.  This is a sin against yourself.  Let this day be one of reflection, moving past the darkness in your soul and moving toward a new resurrection of who you are.   

Many Blessings,

Laura Barrette Shannon

Rising from Darkness

"Adversity is like a strong wind.  It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are." ~ Arthur Golden

In everyone's life, relationships will end, health may decline, and people will pass on.  We all have to deal with loss and grief eventually.  It is important to allow your emotions to flow, to allow yourself to feel any way that you feel, without judging or suppressing your emotions.  Let the emotions flow, then let them go.  The sadness will eventually pass if you process the emotions with the knowledge that this too shall pass.  

Part of being happy and enjoying life is learning to move through the low tides without getting stuck.  Some people have a tendency to cling to loss much longer than it is healthy.  There may be thoughts of what-ifs, should-have-beens, or even blame.  All of these thoughts are unhealthy and will not help you move out of the darkness.  There are others who cling to their loss like a victim.  They become attached to their pain.  They think that by letting go of emotional pain, they are dishonoring the relationship- as if by not feeling sad they are expressing to the world that their relationship wasn't that strong.  These types of thoughts can keep them in the darkness for the rest of their lives.  There is no dishonor in moving past grief and being happy again.  When we cling to grief, we dishonor our own life and our own spirit.  I realized this after my eleven year old daughter, Nicole, died in 2000.  There were times when my victim mentality would creep into my mind and tell me lies about how i should never be happy again.  I came to the decision that the best way to honor her memory was to move forward and make the best of my life.  It is then that instead of destroying my life, her death became a catalyst for personal transformation.  It is in this way that your greatest loss can be your greatest gift.  Allow yourself to move through it, instead of getting stuck in it or trying to forget it.  Remember, what seems like a tragic circumstance can be used as a lesson to move you to a higher level of awareness.

Many blessings to those of you that are going through a dark time in your life right now.  Please know that you can move through even the darkest time in your life, if you allow yourself.

Lesson:

You can move through even the darkest time in your life, if you allow yourself.

Exercise:

Ask yourself if you are emotionally stuck in the grief of a personal loss.  If you are, begin to give yourself permission to move through the grief process toward a feeling of peace.  Begin to believe that a devastating loss doesn't have to wound you forever.  Begin to believe that you deserve to be happy again.

Make a conscious choice to steer your trains of thought toward the present and the future when you find yourself focused on what you have lost.

You may find these affirmations helpful:

"It is okay to be happy again."

"I am more than my greatest loss."

"I am grateful for this opportunity to transform myself."

"What does not kill me makes me stronger, 

and compels me to connect with who I am."

"Go is always here to support and strengthen me."

You Are Perfect- Yes You!

Are you perfect?  Most of us would answer "No" to this question, being all too aware of our personal faults.  Yet, this type of self judgement, of not quite being good enough can lead to low self esteem.  When we think of an idealized self, we might imagine being someone with immense wisdom, compassion, and inner peace.  Of course most of us would fall short of this type of comparison.  But it isn't quite fair to ourselves to make this type of comparison in the first place.  Look at a baby.  They are perfect, even though they lack knowledge and understanding.  They are perfect even though they have so much more to learn.  They are perfect in the stage of growth they are in at the time.  As adults, we sometimes lose track of this inner perfection of being human.  We all have room to grow.  We all still make mistakes, fall down sometimes, and sometimes don't even understand why.  Today, believe that you are perfect just as you are, while knowing that you have the ability to grow into a new definition of perfection tomorrow.  Stop comparing yourself to others, or to your idealized self, and embrace your innate human perfection.

Accepting and loving yourself is an important part of being happy.  Ponder these thoughts the next time you are feeling down on yourself.  

Namaste-

Laura Barrette Shannon

When Your Cup Is Full~ Stop Pouring!

Do you try to do more than you can handle?

Time is a strange concept. It seems that most people live according to some sort of time schedule, usually attempting to squeeze in more time than there is. They say things like, “I don’t have time” or “I wish there was more time.”The problem isn’t the amount of time in a day. Everyone has the same amount of time. The problem arises when people either agree to do too much because they have taken on more than they can handle or they don’t schedule enough, not making the time for what is important to them.

Do you take on more than you can handle and then feel stressed? Do you have a problem saying “No” or try to please everyone all the time? Trying to do more than you can handle is like pouring hot coffee into a cup that is already full. If you keep pouring, it will burn you. It’s all right to pace yourself, choosing to do what is important to you and not committing to everyone and everything that vies for your attention. Remember that if you are overworked and overstressed, then you won’t be much good to anyone. Practice setting boundaries and limits on how many things you schedule, and then you will have time to drink that cup of coffee!

“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”

~ Stephen Covey

Take a look at your life. Is it over scheduled with activities to the point where you feel that you don’t have time for self-improvement, creative endeavors, or quality time with loved ones? If you make a list of the top five priorities in your life, do you make time to attend to them? Decide what is important, schedule it, and then schedule the rest. You will be surprised at how much your life will be enhanced when you focus on what is truly important to you.

I periodically reevaluate my life and make a list of the five most important things to me. Right now, it’s peace of mind, relationships, my dogs, writing, and spirituality. Because these things are a priority to me, I make time for them first. Then I schedule everything else. As time goes on, the priorities will change and so will my schedule of activities. It is impossible to do everything and be there for everyone all the time. You must become aware of your limitations, scheduling no more than you can comfortably handle. If you over-schedule, you will become tired and stressed, which makes everything in life less enjoyable. When you get so caught up in the multitude of activities that you have committed to, you may end up neglecting what is most important to you.

Lesson:

When your cup is full, stop pouring!

Exercise:

Evaluate your schedule, and ask yourself, “What is important to me?” Make time for what matters most to you, and then schedule the rest. If a relationship is important, then schedule quality time together. If it’s your health, then schedule regular exercise routines and plan a healthy meal schedule. When you focus on what is important to you, you will feel at peace with your life and how you spend your time.

Do not take on more than you can handle in a balanced way. Taking on too much creates stress and imbalance in the rest of your life. Practice saying “No” when necessary.

Become aware of what is important to you, then make time for your priorities. Let the rest of your life be balanced with other activities that you have agreed to, but never more than you can comfortably handle.

Exercise Helps Elevate Moods

Walking daily will help depression.

Our physical bodies have an effect on our emotional bodies. If we

are physically out of shape, it can have an enormous effect on

how we feel emotionally. When we take steps to stay physically healthy

and fit, we are increasing our emotional health as well.

Exercise doesn’t have to be difficult or vigorous to affect your

emotional body. Exercising, even with just a short walk, will increase

your oxygen intake, relieve stress, and elevate your mood. Walking is

one of the best and easiest activities to relieve stress.

Make walking a daily habit. Even if you only walk for fifteen

minutes, it will make a difference in the way you feel both physically

and emotionally. Walk outside when possible and gain the added benefits

of fresh air and sunshine. Take a friend or family member for a walk

and you’ll have quality bonding time.

As you walk, pay attention to all the sights, sounds, and smells.

This brings your awareness to the present, which makes it a walking

meditation. Make walking a daily habit and you will be exercising your

body and easing your mind at the same time. Walk more and enjoy life

more.

I cannot over emphasize the importance of exercise for those of

you who are prone to depression or are bi-polar. Whenever I feel the

downward pull of my cycle towards depression, if I force myself to keep

walking daily, it really helps to keep me from spiraling further into

depression. Walking is one of my most important tools for maintaining

stability and balance during emotional swings.

Lesson:

Exercise helps elevate moods.

Exercise:

Incorporate some form of exercise into your life. At the very least,

make walking a daily habit. If you start exercising every day, you will

reap the benefits both physically and mentally.

The Grass Really Isn't Greener...

A married woman tending her garden sees a plane go by and dreams of travel. The traveling salesman on the plane sits next to an old man, which starts him dreaming of retirement. The retired old man sitting across from a young family yearns to be young again. The young mother is looking at the teenager sitting in front of her and can’t wait for her toddler to be self-sufficient. The teen is looking out the window at the woman in her garden and wishes she was older so she could get married and have her own garden.

We often look away from where we are to the past, the future, or to what someone else has that we think we might enjoy, instead of being where we are in life. The grass isn’t any greener anywhere else. Life is what you experience. Enjoy your own life instead of wishing you were someone else or in a different time in your life. Each part of your life will be different from the others, but each is worth experiencing while it is here. Whether you are young, old, single, married, traveling, or being a homebody, appreciate it.

Lesson:

You can’t enjoy life if you are wishing you were someone else

 or focusing on a different time in your life.

Exercise:

Become aware when you are wishing you were in a different phase of your life. This train of thought devalues where you are right now in life. If you find yourself caught up in time travel thinking, bring your awareness back to the present. Begin to focus on gratitude and appreciation for where you are right now in life. 

Stop Waiting!

“The essence of life is not in

the great victories and grand failures,

but in the simple joys.”

~ Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Patience is allowing life to unfold in its own time. If you feel the unease of impatience, bring your attention back to the present and remind yourself that there are no ordinary moments. Every minute of every day is just as fleeting and sacred as any other. Impatience devalues the present moment, as if it’s not good enough. Become aware of this and start valuing all of your time.

Many of us have become so busy that we feel rushed and stressed throughout the day. Some of these feelings arise from the annoyance we cause ourselves by always waiting for the next activity. When you are in a mind-set of waiting, you are not present. If you are at a stop light, in a checkout line, or a doctor’s office, you are in a traditional waiting situation. By switching your state of mind to being present, you can relax and enjoy these few minutes of inactivity. In a busy day, these moments give us a much needed opportunity to take a break.

Many people have experienced the agitation of waiting while stopped at a red light. For some reason, there seems to be a lack of acceptance when it comes to traffic. Logically, we know that red lights, detours, and accidents are a normal part of traffic. Yet when faced with a couple of minutes at a red light, some people feel irritated. They spend these couple of minutes dwelling on how long the lights are, how many lights are on their route, and how the car in front of them should have gone through the yellow light so that they could have sped through the light before it changed red. Sometimes they even start to verbalize derogatory names about other drivers. In these few minutes, instead of peace and relaxation, these drivers have worked themselves up into a fit of anger.

It’s time to stop waiting and start relaxing. Use this time to take a few deep breaths, feel your body, hear the music of life, and be aware of the details around you. When you bring your attention to your physical body and the surrounding environment, you are forcing your awareness outside your head. This is an automatic tension reliever. Nothing can bother you when you are present in the moment.

Lesson:

Stop waiting and enjoy life as it is happening. Be where you are.

Exercise:

When you are in a waiting situation, give yourself a break!

Take a few deep breaths. Slowly inhale, feeling the air expand your lungs. Then feel the tension leave your body with each exhale.

Think an affirmation of gratitude for these few moments of tranquility that you are about to experience. 

This is wonderful! I am so grateful for these few minutes of peace.

Bring your attention to your surroundings. Engage your senses and be aware of sights, sounds, and smells. Get out of your head and reconnect with the world.

Start actively relaxing in situations where you would normally find yourself waiting. It’s time to reclaim these precious minutes of your day! Begin to experience the peace and serenity that you can enjoy in these same few minutes. Cultivating patience is one simple step to enjoying life.