The Happy Monk

A young man in search of happiness heard of a wise old monk that was enjoying a happy life. So he went to see the happy Monk, who he found in the garden. He approached him as the Monk was weeding and asked, "Please,Brother, would you show me how to enjoy life?" The Monk stood up, "I am busy weeding the garden." Then knelt back down and began weeding again. The young man left and came back the next day as the Monk was cooking his dinner. Again, he inquired, "Brother, please, can you tell me how to enjoy life?". The Monk took a deep breath as he inhaled the aroma of the stew he was stirring and replied, "I am busy cooking dinner."
The man left and came back for the third day, asking the Monk one more time, "Please, Brother, share with me your wisdom of how you are so happy and enjoy life." The Monk shrugged his shoulders and sighed, "I keep telling you but you aren\'t listening."

original Zen story by Laura Barrette Shannon

Why Presence Is the Key to Happiness

In this world of chaotic change,
I Am at peace.
Breath of tranquility
Calms my restless mind.
Just being Present
Blocks emotional turmoil,
Reminding me
What is Real.

When you are enjoying your time, you are PRESENT; You\'re focusing on whatever you are doing, without thinking about the past or future. See if you can bring this awareness into your daily activities. The more you practice controlling your attention, the easier it becomes, and the more you focus this attention outside of your head, the more you will find joy in the simplest things. Be mindful- PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR LIFE AS IT HAPPENS.
The act of being present is an awareness of your surroundings in a new and exciting way. You will appreciate nature, perhaps feeling the sun on your face, hearing the sweet melodies of the birds, or noticing other stimuli that would normally be drowned out by your thoughts. You will enjoy your meals with new vitality, savoring each bite, allowing the flavors to fully be tasted. You will become more conscious of your own body, feeling the joy of each breath as it enters and exits your lungs. You will come to realize that the act of being present will draw your mind away from thoughts of the past, and worries of the future. All that will matter is NOW, because you will be actively engaging your senses in the present moment.

Being present as much as possible will enliven your life. When you are fully present, your awareness is in a different state of attention. In this state of attention, you are aware of your present moment of activity, and you are also aware of your thoughts. Many people are in a constant state of unawareness. They will go about their day, rarely being present, and barely aware of their surroundings and what they are thinking. More often than not, they don’t understand why their emotions are out of control.

Exercise:
Practice being present.

Choose at least one activity that you normally do everyday. It can be anything at all, eating, showering, drinking coffee, exercising, etc. Whenever you do this activity be present as much as possible. Start by bringing your attention to your body and senses. What do you feel physically? What do you see, smell, and hear? At the same time be aware of your thoughts. It’s natural to have thoughts. The goal isn’t to eliminate them, but to let them pass by like trains in a train station.
Walking: Be aware of the physical sensations; Feel your muscles contract as you walk. Feel the heat or cold on your skin. Feel the textures of your clothing. Be aware of any sounds; listen to the sound of your own breath as it flows in and out.

Eating: Take time to enjoy the taste and aroma of your food. Savor each bite as if you never tasted it before. Pay attention to the texture, the way your tongue moves as you chew.

Really focus on staying present. When you find your mind drifting to other thoughts, gently pull yourself back into the moment. This exercise will demonstrate just how much you are caught up in your thoughts versus being present.
Be where you are.
Do what you are doing.
Experience life as it happens.
When we live inside our heads, thinking about being somewhere else, doing something else, or thinking about the past or the future, we are missing out on living. You will enjoy life more if you actually live it as it unfolds.

Don’t judge your efforts. Even if you can only be present for 5 seconds at a time you have successfully begun your journey towards being happy now.

Are You Lonely?

(image zoomcatch.com)

ARE YOU LONELY? You can be in a crowded room or in multiple close relationships and still feel lonely. Don't confuse being alone with being lonely. It is when we have learned to be our own best friend that we banish thoughts of loneliness. Recognize loneliness as a reminder that we have to reclaim our innate wholeness, not to look for completion in another. No one can complete you, or take away your feelings of loneliness. The void you may feel in your heart is because you haven't embraced your own perfection. When you embrace all that you are, loving yourself with all of your heart, it is an act of personal healing and a step toward feeling whole.
Begin to take steps to reclaim yourself. It takes time and effort, as it did to lose yourself in the first place. It starts with self awareness, getting to really know who you are and what might be being suppressed within yourself. Everyone's journey of self awareness is as individual as they are. For me, daily affirmations helped remind me of my innate self worth. Also, being true to myself and following my dreams helped. Redrawing boundaries with others or eliminating some unhealthy relationships was also a part of it. Basically, it is embracing who you are, and gaining the feeling of self worth and self love. In reality, it is as easy or as challenging as you believe it to be. Set the intent to reclaim your wholeness, and then do the work to find yourself. Self awareness is the key.
 Reclaim your wholeness and never be lonely again!

~Laura Barrette Shannon
Be Happy, my Friends! :)

Are You a Human BEing?

Be where you are.

                       Do what you are doing.

Experience life as it happens.

Practice being a human BEING, not a human THINKING. It is when we allow ourselves to BE in the moment that we capture the peace and joy of living.



Practice: Choose at least one activity that you normally do everyday.  It can be anything at all, eating, showering, drinking coffee, exercising, etc.  Whenever you do this activity be present as much as possible.  Start by bringing your attention to your body and senses.  What do you feel physically?  What do you see, smell, and hear?  At the same time be aware of your thoughts.  It’s natural to have thoughts.  The goal isn’t to eliminate them, but to let them pass by like trains in a train station.

Examples:

Walking:  Be aware of the physical sensations;  Feel your muscles contract as you walk. Feel the heat or cold on your skin. Feel the textures of your clothing.  Be aware of any sounds; listen to the sound of your own breath as it flows in and out.

Eating:  Take time to enjoy the taste and aroma of your food.  Savor each bite as if you never tasted it before.  Pay attention to the texture, the way your tongue moves as you chew.

Really focus on staying present.  When you find your mind drifting to other thoughts, gently pull yourself back into the moment. This exercise will demonstrate just how much you are caught up in your thoughts versus being present.

When we live inside our heads, thinking about being somewhere else, doing something else, or thinking about the past or the future, we are missing out on living. You will enjoy life more if you actually live it as it happens.

Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

Forgiveness Is a One Person Act

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." ~ Lewis Smedes

Who do you need to forgive in order to release yourself from the prison of repetitive emotional pain? How long will you hold onto this pain, like a deluded victim clinging to the knife that stabs them, pretending that you aren't the one holding the knife? Forgiving is a one person act. It never has anything to do with the person we hold resentment or anger toward. It has to do with the attachment to the anger and resentment within ourselves. Release the desire to justify holding onto the emotional pain and it loses its attraction. Then you can see it for what it is, a destructive train of thought. Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person. It is not condoning whatever actions or words hurt you. It is making a decision not to let the event keep hurting you over and over. It is an act of self healing. By releasing the thoughts of resentment and anger we release our attachment to suffering.

Some people think that you shouldn't forgive someone unless they deserve to be forgiven.  This is not being fair to yourself. You are the one who deserves to be free of this heavy weight.  If you think you need to wait until the other person apologizes or somehow repents, you have given them the power over your suffering. Don't let others control your emotions. You are responsible for how you respond to people and events in life. You are the only one who can end this suffering. You are not doing them a favor by forgiving, you are releasing yourself from the bondage they hold over you. The act of forgiveness releases you from the repetitive thoughts of being a victim.  You may have been a victim once, but until you forgive and let those thoughts of resentment go, you will be a victim of this emotional suffering again and again. 

Once you forgive a person, it does not mean that you should allow the same situation to repeat itself.  Just because you have forgiven something does not mean it is okay to allow it to happen again. Be forgiving in nature but be wise in your decisions to interact with others by not playing a fool.  Forgiving doesn't necessarily mean that the relationship should return to what it was. Sometime it will be even better, sometimes it will change as new boundaries are set, and sometimes it completely ends. No matter how the relationship changes, the important part is that you aren't suffering with anger and resentment anymore.

The act of forgiveness may take time, so be gentle with yourself as you move toward freeing yourself from this dark prison.

Laura Barrette Shannon

Releasing Regrets

(image from the situationist.wordpress.com)

When we hold onto regrets, it hinders our ability to fully enjoy life. It creates a darkness that clouds our inner joy. To truly enjoy life we need to make peace with our past by accepting it for what it was. Release any thoughts about how the past should have been any different than it was. These types of thoughts are pointless and they only serve to disturb your peace of mind. Come to accept that whatever happened is now over now.. To think about how you wish it had been different is riding on a train of thought that leads to emotional suffering. Don't be attached to imaginary past scenarios by rewriting history in your mind. Use your imagination to focus on future dreams, not to torture yourself with thoughts of what should have been or what could have been.

For some people “what could have been” thoughts are the root of personal regret. You may look back and ponder different choices you might have made that would have resulted in different events occurring. As tempting as this negative mind candy can be, we must be aware of how destructive this way of thinking is to our peace of mind. The “could have been” scenarios reinforce the negative emotions about what actually happened. It won't help you get past the regret, it will ignite it with each thought of “if I had only done this”.

Be aware that you made choices in the past that made sense at the time according to knowledge you had and the state of mind you were in at that time.  Forgive yourself for doing the best you could.  That is all anyone ever does.  Don't let the "what ifs" take over your mind and hijack your emotions.  Accept the past for what it was and move forward.

No amount of thinking can change the past, but thinking too much about how you wish it were different will change your present into living hell of regret.

Be Happy, my Friends-

Laura Barrette Shannon

Are You Compassionate?

(image drugfreehomes.org)

Do you have compassion? Compassion is when we open our hearts to empathize and extend love to others. It may be easy to have compassion on those who you see as suffering from life events or forces outside of themselves, but can you offer compassion for those who are victims of their own choices. Can you have compassion for the homeless crack addict as well as the baby born with health issues? Can you come to a place of compassion for those who are stuck in unawareness, suffering in a living hell of their own doing? If you can have compassion on all who suffer, regardless of the cause of suffering, then this is unconditional compassion. Practice feeling compassion towards those you normally judge as “losers”. The reality is they are suffering because they have lost themselves. Thoughts of judgment only serve to irritate us and reinforce feelings of being better than others. Praying for those who suffer will not only help them, it will enhance your own feelings of serenity.

Be compassionate, and be happy, my Friends-

Laura Barrette Shannon

To Each His Own

A young man in search of wisdom asked, "Please tell me, Grandmother, how can I attain wisdom such as yours,? Which path can I take to follow you?" The wise old Grandmother replied, "Dear child, you can journey to where I am, but you can not follow me. The path to wisdom is a personal journey. There are many different roads to take, and no two are ever the same. You will find many guides and signs leading you along the path to wisdom, but only you can make the choices at each fork in the road.” “But, Grandmother, how will I know which way to go when I reach a fork in the road?” “Dear child, do not fret over which road to choose, all paths eventually lead to the same place. Some may look easier and faster if you are following in someone else's path, but it is when you make your own way, following your own path that you will not only find your way, but you'll have found yourself in the process.”

Resist the urge to think that your way or your path is the right way or only way. Allow others to travel their life journey according to their own heart. By respecting the beliefs and choices of others we have no need to defend our own. It demostrates that we acknowledge that everyone has their own path to forge, including ourselves. When we try to control other people we are taking their personal power away.

Allowing others to walk their own path does not mean we have indulge people caught up in victim mentality. Those are the people who seem to be looking for advice, but actually just want to draw you into their drama. They are looking for sympathy not solutions. Years ago, I used to give advice to others, and when they didn't follow my direction it would cause me to feel frustrated. I was attached to the outcome of how I thought they should act. If we can get to a place where we can offer guidance without attachment, have compassion for those who are still struggling to find themselves, and a let go and let God attitude, then we release ourselves from stressing over other people's lives.

When we constantly seek guidance and approval of our choices we give our personal power away. Seek wise advice as necessary, but always make the choice according to your own heart. Decide if what you are choosing is aligned with who you are. Is it aligned with your values and dreams of the future? Is the choice made out of love or out of fear? These questions will help you evaluate your life decisions. In the end, there really is no wrong choice made with awareness and love. You may decide that after a time you want to make a new choice in another direction. That is fine too, because all paths are tools for self introspection and offer lessons in life. Never regret anything you've done if you have learned an important lesson through the experience. Forgive yourself for being human. We all make choices that in hindsight we would do differently. Yet, we all do the best we can with the level of awareness we have at the time. If you are tolerant of your “mistakes” then you'll be tolerant when others make the same “mistakes.”

Lesson:

Life is a personal journey of self discovery. Allow others to have a chance to find themselves in their own way.

Exercise:

Does it upset you when people close to you don't follow your advice? Practice bringing awareness into the situation. Release your need to control their life choices because you know what is best for them. What is best for them is to figure out what is best for themselves by learning to follow their authentic self. Practice guidance without expectation. Be supportive of your loved ones even when they make choices that are different from what you would do.  

Be happy,my Friends-

Laura Barrette Shannon

Imagine a Second Chance

Imagine yourself many years from now, in the last few minutes of your life....

You are calm and at peace, reflecting on the wonderful life you’ve had, but also keenly aware of things you could have done differently. 

Think about the ordinary moments that you wish you had payed more attention to as they happened.

Recall the people you wish you had shown more love and forgiveness...

Now, imagine that you have a chance to go back to today and live out those years again, with enhanced awareness, with more love and more joy...

Poof! You are here, Now. Be grateful for this second chance. Enjoy your journey, and be happy, my Friends :)

Laura barrette Shannon

Think Before You Speak

(image from visuallyinsightful.blogspot.com)

Watch how you talk about yourself.  When you repeat stories of being a victim, express self effacing comments, or other self limiting statements about your life, you are giving away your personal power and playing the roll of one who is unworthy and unhappy.  If you have nothing nice to say about yourself or your life, then it is better to say nothing at all.  Learn to express your inner light and self worth and you will be amazed at how your moods will be lifted.  Plus, you will be more fun to be around!
Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

Be Remembered

 People may forget what you say, they might even forget things you do for them, but they will never forget how they feel around you. If you want to make a lasting impression on someone, open your heart, listen to them when they speak, look them in the eyes, give encouragement, and always offer hugs when appropriate. Some people go a whole day or more without experiencing the touch of another human being. Even a pat of the shoulder or back can long be remembered and appreciated. Be generous with your hugs! 

When you offer your attention and warm emotion, you will be remembered.  You will be making others feel like they matter.  This is a key to forming healthy relationships.

(((hugs)))

Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

Take the Happiness Challenge!

(image from happyxyz.blogspot.com)

THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE: This week, when a stressful situation arises, take a slow deep breath and make an effort to focus your attention on being present. This will give you time to choose to act with awareness instead of reacting to all the little things that happen in a day. Really make an effort to stop complaining out loud. Negative thoughts may still arise in your mind, but if you have eno...ugh awareness to stop those negative thoughts from being spoken, then you are making progress. Eventually, with practice it will become easier and easier to let those negative thoughts flow through your mind before they grab your attention and irritate you.
Don’t judge your efforts. Even if you can not catch yourself before you complain, but do have enough awareness to notice it after you said it, you are making a step toward being a happier person. With enough practice you will begin to raise your level of awareness which will enable you to respond positively instead of negatively to life.
Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

The Cup is Already Broken

Shift to a higher awareness: The cup isn't half full, or half empty, it's already broken!

Instead of focusing on either side of the duality of life, become aware of the impermanence of life. All things, people, and relationships have a temporary and limited existence. Knowing this, embrace every moment of a relationship as sacred, and have appreciation for the string of ordinary moments that make up your life.

It is through appreciation and gratitude that life becomes a journey of joy! ♥

Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura barrette Shannon

"Where did you put my _____?!!

(image from sillyandseriousgirltalk.blogspot.com)

"WHERE DID YOU PUT MY ____!?" Does this sound familiar? One person gets frustrated because they can't find something, then starts yelling at another to release the anger by blaming them. The important thing is to bring awareness into the situation. If you are the one who is frustrated, as soon as you are aware of your irritation, take a few deep breaths, and then nicely ask for help finding y...our item. If you are the one being yelled at, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that it isn't personal, and offer to help without arguing back. It is challenging on both ends, because it is most likely a repetitive behavior on both parts. Either way, it is a wonderful opportunity to practice self control and awareness. Which ever part you play, do not let it spiral into an argument. This may seem trivial, but I assure you that it is in conquering the small challenges in life you will gain the most personal power and happiness.
Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

1 Minute Story: Dream Your Destiny

A young girl asks, "Grandmother, I'm scared. How am I going to know how to to be an adult? How will I become wise like you, to teach my children and grandchildren. I'm afraid I'll never be able to learn everything I need to know, there is so much I don't understand."

Grandmother took her little hand in hers and led her to a small sapling apple tree, no taller than she. "Look at this tiny tree. Right now it is young, it doesn't provide much shade, and it's too young to produce fruit. What do you think will happen to the tree over the next twenty years?" The child replied, "It will grow into a big tree with lots of fruit." "Ah, my child, you are already gaining wisdom. You can see that its destiny is to grow into a mature tree. So it is the same for you. Your destiny is to gradually grow into the wise wonderful woman that you desire to be."

And so it is the same for our dreams. Never think that a dream is too big or too difficult to accomplish. Once you set your heart's desire and intend to follow a dream, you have set your destiny upon the path of fruition. Most dreams are accomplished gradually, one step at a time. The only fear you should have is giving up your dreams.
Dream big! Your dreams will guide your actions of today, and forge your destiny of tomorrow!

Be Happy, my Friends-

Laura Barrette Shannon

Tell Me about Yourself

WHO would you be without your story? When you define yourself by your life story you are limiting yourself. You are more than your past, no matter how delightful, painful, exciting, or dramatic it has been, you are just a character in the story, not the story itself. It can be tempting, when people ask who you are, to start telling your life story. The next time someone asks you to share about yourself, tell them your dreams, your values, what sparks your passion. It's not who you were yesterday that matters, it's who you choose to be now and tomorrow.

Be Happy My Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

 

Learn the ABC's

ABC's of responding to life:  
A- AWARENESS.  When you become aware of a negative emotion you have gained the personal power to respond instead of react.
B- BREATHE.  Take a few slow deep breaths.  FEEL the air move in and out of your body.  Feel your muscles.  Relax. This switches your awareness away from the charged emotion into your body and the the present moment.
C- CHOOSE.  Now that you have taken a moment to calm the emotion, you have the ability to choose an appropriate response.


Use the ABC's of responding to life, and you will feel less stressed and be in control of how you act and speak.  
Be Happy Now, My Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

Can You Feel It?

CAN YOU FEEL IT?  The voice of intuition is that feeling you get out of nowhere, the urge to go do something out of the ordinary, and the inner guidance that helps us when we need it.  The voice speaks through the body- you will FEEL it. To understand its message, you must clear your mind and listen.  By listening to the still small voice of spirit, you'll be amazed at how life is enriched. You could probably be happy without connecting with spirit, but why would you want to miss out on experiencing the mysteries and wonder of life, and the inner compass to truly find direction to a life of purpose?  The next time you feel spirit calling, stop what you are doing, take a few deep breaths, and answer the call.
Be Happy Now, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

Fearless Friday Challenge

FEARLESS FRIDAY- Today's challenge is to do something outside of your comfort zone. It can be as small as trying a new food (yes, sushi is good!), wearing something very different from your normal style (unusual hats are fun!), or more challenging like doing something that makes you feel very uncomfortable (perhaps singing karaoke?). You get the idea. You choose the challenge, jump out of your box, and conquer your fear. 

 When we fight our fears we are fighting our ego.  Ego has a set of rules that it likes to follow, making sure that it remains in power.  It convinces you that change is bad, makes you think about what other people think of you, and generally needs to keep you living in fear to maintain control.  Ego will argue for your limitations to keep your self worth down.  Successful completion of this challenge will earn you more personal power and a bit of excitement too! Have fun and please share your experiences.
Be happy, my Friends-
Laura Barrette Shannon

Self Love Is Not Selfish!

SELF LOVE is not selfish- When you embrace all that you are, loving yourself with all of your heart, it is an act of personal healing and a step toward feeling whole. This is not an act of selfishness, for selfishness is an act of holding onto that which you fear to lose, or acting without regard for other people. True self love is recognizing your self worth, and when you feel your own self wor...th, you will naturally see the worth in others. How you feel about yourself is mirrored onto others. Having self love allows you to forgive not only your own mistakes, but everyone else's too. Love yourself first, then you will have a healthy and whole heart ready to love the world!
Believe that you are perfect just as you are today, even if you decide on a new definition of perfection tomorrow.
Be Happy, my Friends-
Laura barrette Shannon

(photo from holisticyogini.com)